Barton MacLane credited as playing...
Police Lt. Barry Lane
- Police Lt. Barry Lane: Do you believe in werewolves?
- Jan Spavero: How did you know?
- Police Lt. Barry Lane: It's my business to know!
- Police Lt. Barry Lane: I'll admit that there are some peculiar things about this case that haven't been cleared up. We'll keep our eye on that guy, in case his mind clears and we can ask him some questions. But the Police Department hasn't got time to chase a lot of things that don't exist. I never heard of a wolf that could strike a match.
- Homer: [the police have just had a shootout with the wolf but instead shot a hole through Lt Lane's hat] You alright chief?
- Police Lt. Barry Lane: [Angrily] Well it's nice of you to enquire. I didn't know you cared. What are you doing up there?
- Homer: You mean to tell me you didn't see what we saw
- [referring to the wolf]
- Police Lt. Barry Lane: [Still angrily] How can I see anything when you're raining bullets on me like I was a sleeve target, come on down!
- Homer: You think the chief will believe us when we tell him what we saw?
- Policeman: He'll believe us alright when I show him this
- [He shows Homer his ripped up left sleeve on his shirt and jacket]
- Police Lt. Barry Lane: [the police are looking in the secret passage and have found a crypt] What have you found up there?
- Homer: Some sort of a secret crypt chief. There's a grave, there's somebody buried up here
- Police Lt. Barry Lane: Is he dead?
- Homer: Yeah only it ain't a he it's a woman. Some sort of gypsy queen
- Police Lt. Barry Lane: [Slightly irritated] Well now that you've crept into a crypt would you mind creeping back down here again we're looking for an alive gypsy not a dead one, hurry it up!
- Homer: Ok chief, ok but now that I'm up here don't you want me to look around a bit?
- [the wolf growls as he speaks]
- Policeman: [Referring to the growl] Do you hear anything?
- Homer: Nah not a thing, what would you hear in a grave?
- Policeman: [the wolf then walks across in front of Homer and Al in the crypt] Look out!
- Homer: There she is!
- [They start to shoot at it]
- Homer: [the police are going to investigate the secret passage] Hey chief. Ain't you supposed to have some sort of a silver bullet or some other hocus pocus to kill a werewolf?
- Police Lt. Barry Lane: Well if it makes you feel any better we can take the silver fillings out of our teeth and melt 'em into a bullet
- Homer: Yeah ok
- Policeman Ed: [Slightly frustrated] Ok
- Police Lt. Barry Lane: Come on
- [Just as they get to the passage the lights go out]
- Policeman Ed: Hey what happened?
- Police Lt. Barry Lane: Who hit that light switch?
- Homer, Policeman, Policeman Ed: [Homer, Al and Ed all deny hitting the light switch] Not me. Nobody touched it
- Police Lt. Barry Lane: Ed go ask young Morris where the fuse box is
- Policeman Ed: Alright
- [He walks off but when he opens the door he sees that all the lights are out]
- Policeman Ed: Hey the lights are out all over the place
- Police Lt. Barry Lane: Go do what I tell you
- Policeman Ed: [Concerned] All by myself?
- Police Lt. Barry Lane: [Angrily] Will you!
- Policeman Ed: [Nervously] Ok
- [He walks off]
- Homer: Hey chief. Don't you think we ought to wait until we get the little matter of the fuses straightened out?
- Police Lt. Barry Lane: [Irritated] What's the matter with you guys, what have you got a flashlight for?
- [They head into the passage]