Leon Ames credited as playing...
Mr. Alonzo Smith
- Warren Sheffield: Rose Smith, we can't go on like this any longer. I've positively decided we're going to get married at the earliest opportunity and I don't want to hear any arguments. That's final. I love you. Merry Christmas.
- Rose Smith: Merry Christmas
- Mr. Alonzo Smith: Anna, who is that boy?
- Mrs. Anna Smith: Now Lonny he's a very fine young man. We'll talk about it later.
- Grandpa: That young man is so excited he's liable to leave on his honeymoon without Rose.
- Rose Smith, Esther Smith: [singing] Meet me in St. Louie, Louie, meet me at...
- Mr. Alonzo Smith: For heaven's sake, stop that screeching!
- Rose Smith: We're sorry, Papa.
- Mr. Alonzo Smith: The fair won't open for seven months, and that's all anybody ever sings about or talks about. I wish they would all meet at the fair and leave me alone.
- Esther Smith: Papa, if losing a case depresses you so, why don't you quit practicing law and go into another line of business?
- Mr. Alonzo Smith: That's a good idea. Starting tomorrow, I intend to play first base for the Baltimore Orioles. I'm sorry, Anna, if I was a little bombastic.
- Mrs. Anna Smith: That's all right, dear, you'll feel better once you've had your dinner.
- Mr. Alonzo Smith: I suppose so, but right now I'm going to soak in that cool bathtub for one solid hour.
- Esther Smith: But that's impossible. Dinner's being served in five minutes.
- Mr. Alonzo Smith: It's only five twenty-five, not six twenty-five.
- Mrs. Anna Smith: We've planned on eating an hour early tonight.
- Mr. Alonzo Smith: Well, the plans have just been changed. I'm taking a bath.
- Mrs. Anna Smith: We're eating early for Katie's sake. Family trouble. She wants to go over there as soon as we've finished eating. Her sister's fighting with her husband.
- Mr. Alonzo Smith: I see. And I suppose they'll stop fighting if I don't take a bath?
- Mrs. Anna Smith: Now she's been with us for ten years, and she never asks favors. We don't want to risk losing her.
- Esther Smith: No, nowadays you can't get a maid for less than twelve dollars a month.
- Mr. Alonzo Smith: I don't care if we have to pay a maid fifteen dollars a month! Dinner's at six-thirty, and if Katie wants to hand in her notice, she can reach me in the bathtub!
- 'Tootie' Smith: Hello, Papa, I buried Maude Rockefeller today, and you missed all the fun.
- Mr. Alonzo Smith: Oh, I wouldn't say that. I've had a pretty full day. Tootie, remind me to spank you right after dinner.
- 'Tootie' Smith: Yes, Papa.
- Mr. Alonzo Smith: Lord, we thank thee for the bountiful blessing we are about to receive. Amen.
- 'Tootie' Smith: Agnes, if I forget to remind Papa, you remind me.
- Agnes Smith: All right.
- Mr. Alonzo Smith: Ah, corn beef and cabbage. Katie, I could smell that cabbage when I got off the trolley.
- Katie (Maid): Cabbage has a cabbage smell.
- Katie (Maid): Anybody want dessert?
- Mr. Alonzo Smith: Dessert? What happened to dinner?
- Katie (Maid): I didn't think anybody could eat meat on a hot day like this!