Fred Astaire credited as playing...
Johnny Parkson Riggs
- Victor Budlow Trout: Johnny, do you realize the penalty for impersonating an angel?
- Johnny Parkson Riggs: No, what is it?
- Victor Budlow Trout: Well, it's - it's - pretty severe.
- Johnny Parkson Riggs: You didn't tell anybody I was your guardian angel, did you?
- Yolanda Aquaviva: Not exactly. All I said was that you weren't a real man. My aunt doesn't believe me.
- Johnny Parkson Riggs: I'm glad of that. I'd rather it didn't get around.
- Johnny Parkson Riggs: I'm afraid you made a mistake.
- Policeman: Oh no, Señor, no mistake. We have here your descriptions.
- Victor Budlow Trout: It's a mistake.
- [Motioning to himself and Johnny.]
- Victor Budlow Trout: We don't look like this.
- Victor Budlow Trout: Must be awfully rich, eh? Millionaire, would you say?
- Train Steward: Very rich, señor. As you Americans say: filthy.
- Victor Budlow Trout: Yes. Well, what sort of a chap is this filthy Aquaviva? I mean, how does one contact him? Has he got any vices? Hobbies? Does he play gin rummy?
- Johnny Parkson Riggs: Don't worry, Junior, Mr. Aquaviva will probably meet you at the station and hand you a blank check.
- Victor Budlow Trout: Johnny, this place isn't so bad. In fact, it's bursting with golden opportunity. Virgin territory. New fields to conquer! And two gladiators riding toward the horizon with swords upraised. Wait a minute, don't forget the nicest part: there are no extradition laws here. U.S. police can't touch us.
- Johnny Parkson Riggs: You got a point there.
- Victor Budlow Trout: If you're thinking what you're thinking, my advice is forget it!
- Johnny Parkson Riggs: My advice is never to take your advice.
- Victor Budlow Trout: When you're hungry here, you don't need money. You just pick your fruit from a tree.
- [picks an orange from a fruit stand]
- Victor Budlow Trout: This is the Garden of Eden, my boy.
- Fruit Vendor: Yes, a dollar, por favor.
- [Johnny pays the Fruit Vendor]
- Fruit Vendor: Gracias, señor.
- Johnny Parkson Riggs: Listen, Adam, when your trees begin to bear champagne, caviar, and well-tailored suits, I'll string along with you. In the meantime, let's do it my way, huh?
- Johnny Parkson Riggs: There's no time to lose. Every lose crook in the business will be buzzing around this pot of honey.
- Johnny Parkson Riggs: I can't quite make out what his angle is. But, he's the most dangerous of all. He's got an honest face.
- Johnny Parkson Riggs: You have trouble about money. I shall relieve you of it - the trouble I mean. But, I must have absolute, unquestioning obedience.
- Yolanda Aquaviva: Oh, I shall do whatever you tell me.
- Johnny Parkson Riggs: We try to keep our work on a lofty plain. We don't do mind-reading or tell fortunes. Heaven is not a gypsy tearoom!
- Johnny Parkson Riggs: Think only of the things that make you happy, not those that make you sad. Yolanda, do you want to make me happy?
- Johnny Parkson Riggs: Life is not a succession of moonlight and music. And every night is not a fiesta. We must take it as it comes.
- Yolanda Aquaviva: Mr. Brown, this is my aunt.
- Johnny Parkson Riggs: Aunt? Why, you mean your sister.
- Aunt Amarilla: Oh, Mr. Brown, you're an angel.
- Johnny Parkson Riggs: Yes, didn't you know?
- Johnny Parkson Riggs: But she knows I'm a crook. The whole thing is impossible.
- Mr. Candle: Young man, sometimes you try my patience. I've just made a flood, washed out a bridge, caused a train to turn back, and you have the nerve to sit there and tell me that something is impossible.
- Yolanda Aquaviva: Oh, no, I'm afraid Mr. Brown wouldn't be interested in that sort of thing, would you?
- Johnny Parkson Riggs: No, nothing interests me less than worldly goods.
- Johnny Parkson Riggs: What're you doing, having a nightmare?
- Victor Budlow Trout: Me? I was just about to float you back form wherever you were. When you have a nightmare, you sure keep busy.
- Johnny Parkson Riggs: Oh! Oh what a jam I was in.
- Johnny Parkson Riggs: How much do you want for us to push you back to town?
- Taxi Driver: I make you a flat rate.