Margaret Rutherford credited as playing...
Madame Arcati
- Violet Bradman: Can you foretell the future?
- Madame Arcati: Certainly not. I disapprove of fortune-tellers most strongly.
- Violet Bradman: Oh, really - why?
- Madame Arcati: Too much guesswork and fake mixed up with it - even when the gift is genuine - and it only very occasionally is - you can't count on it.
- Ruth Condomine: Why not?
- Madame Arcati: Time again. Time is the reef upon which all our frail mystic ships are wrecked.
- Ruth Condomine: You mean because it has never yet been proved that the past and the present and the future are not one and the same thing?
- Madame Arcati: I long ago came to the conclusion that nothing has ever been definitely proved about anything.
- Violet Bradman: I must say I find bicycling very exhausting.
- Madame Arcati: Steady rhythm - that's what does it. Once you get the knack of it you needn't ever look back...
- Violet Bradman: But, the hills, Madame Arcati! Pushing up those awful hills.
- Madame Arcati: Just knack... Down with your head, up with your heart, and you're over the top like a flash and skimming down the other side like a dragonfly.
- Madame Arcati: Now, what have we here? Brahms. Oh, dear me. No. Rachmaninoff. Too florid. Where's the dance music?
- Ruth Condomine: Madame Arcati, I'm profoundly disturbed and I want your help.
- Madame Arcati: Splendid! I thought as much. Fire away.
- Madame Arcati: You say she's visible only to your husband?
- Ruth Condomine: Yes.
- Madame Arcati: Visible only to husband. Audible too, I presume?
- Ruth Condomine: Extremely audible.
- Madame Arcati: Some mediums prefer Indians, of course. But, personally I've always found them unreliable.
- Ruth Condomine: In what way, unreliable?
- Madame Arcati: Well, to start with, they're frightfully lazy. Also, when faced with any sort of difficulty, they're apt to go off into their own tribal language - which is naturally unintelligible. That generally spoils everything and wastes a good deal of time.
- Madame Arcati: I presume that's the gramophone?
- Charles Condomine: Would you like me to start if for you? It's an electric one.
- Madame Arcati: No, please stay where you are. I can manage.
- Madame Arcati: We might contact a poltergeist - which would be extremely destructive and noisy.
- Ruth Condomine: In what way destructive?
- Madame Arcati: They throw things, you know.
- Ruth Condomine: No. I didn't know.
- Madame Arcati: You're just in time for a cup of tea. That's if you don't mind China?
- Ruth Condomine: Not at all.
- Madame Arcati: I never touch Indian. It upsets my vibrations.
- Madame Arcati: Insufferable! I've never been so insulted in my life! I feel we have nothing more to say to one another, Mrs. Condomine.
- Ruth Condomine: But Madam Arcati, please.
- Madame Arcati: Your attitude from the outset has been most unpleasant.
- Madame Arcati: Is there anyone there? Is there anyone there? One rap for yes. Two raps for no. Is there anyone there?
- Madame Arcati: Take my advice, Mr. Cardomine, go away immediately. Well, this must be an unhappy house, Mr. Cardomine. There must be memories, both grave and gay in every corner of it. Also, there are more things in heaven and earth, Mr. Cardomine. Just go.
- Madame Arcati: And to coin a phrase, as far as I'm concerned, you can stew in your own juice! Good afternoon, Mrs. Condomine.
- Madame Arcati: [after several failed exorcisms] Are they still here?
- Charles Condomine: Yeah.
- [clock chimes]
- Charles Condomine: End of round six.