Mel Blanc credited as playing...
Bugs Bunny • Waiter • Bartender • Ray Milland
- Bugs Bunny: [as Groucho Marx] I hope you won't mind waiting while I remove these wet things and slip into a dry martini.
- Bogart: [Closing lines] Well, time's up, shorty. Where's my rabbit?
- Elmer Fudd: Pwease, Mr. Bogart. I couldn't get a wabbit. I twied and I twied.
- Bogart: Oh, yeah? Well, I guess there's just one thing left for me to do.
- [reaches into his coat pocket]
- Elmer Fudd: Don't! Pwease, don't!
- Bogart: [Pulling out a handkerchief to wipe his brow] Baby will just have to have a ham sandwich, instead.
- Bugs Bunny: Baby?
- [Bugs comes out of his hiding place and hops onto Bogart's table, placing himself on the dinner plate as the main course. Sitting there is "Baby" - Lauren Bacall]
- Bugs Bunny: Remember, garçon. The customer is always right. If it's rabbit baby wants, rabbit baby gets.
- [Bugs then howls and wolf whistles at Bacall]
- Bugs Bunny: [Disguised as waiter] One lemon meringue pie!
- Elmer Fudd: One wemon mewingue pie coming up!
- [Goes behind counter and gets pie]
- Elmer Fudd: Pick up pie!
- Bugs Bunny: [enters kitchen, picks up pie] Roger!
- [Enters again and hits Elmer in face with pie]
- Bugs Bunny: Your pie, sir!
- [Leaves and enters again]
- Bugs Bunny: One banana cream pie!
- [Leaves]
- Elmer Fudd: One banana cweam pie coming up! Pick up pie!
- Bugs Bunny: [Same as before] Roger! Your pie, sir! One coconut custard pie with whipped cream!
- Elmer Fudd: One coconut custard pie with whipped cweam coming up! Say, you know what I think? I think that's the wabbit. Well, he who waughs wast... He he he! Pick up pie!
- Bugs Bunny: Rogerini!
- [as Bugs enters, Elmer throws the pie; Bugs ducks and the pie goes over his head; Enter Bogart with pie on his face]
- Bogart: Why did you hit me in the face with a coconut custard pie with whipped cream?
- Elmer Fudd: Pwease, Mr. Bogart...!
- Bogart: Now listen, chubby. You got just five more minutes to get me my rabbit. Get me?
- Bugs Bunny: Eh, what's up, Doc?
- Elmer Fudd: Pardon me, Mister Wabbit, but Mr. Humphwey Bogart would just wove to have you for dinner.
- Bugs Bunny: Yeah? Well, that's mighty neighborly of him. You tell Bogie if he wants me, all he has to do is just whistle.
- [Turns on a tea kettle to make it whistle; pops up wearing coattails and top hat]
- Bugs Bunny: Good evening, Maitre d'. Am I the first to arrive? Eh, by the way, what's on the menu for tonight? In other words... eh, what's cooking, doc?
- Elmer Fudd: Oh, eh, something vewy special. Fried wabbit.
- Bugs Bunny: Fried wabbit? Mmm-mm! Love it, love it, looove it! Eh, let's have a peek at it, shall we?
- Elmer Fudd: Well, wight over here.
- [Puts a mirror in the pot for Bugs to see himself in it]
- Bugs Bunny: Now there's a delicious-looking rabbit.
- [Realizes he's looking at his reflection; turns to Elmer]
- Bugs Bunny: [Very fast] Oh, I just remembered, previous engagement, I must be going, my apologies to Mr. Bogart, matter of life and death, unavoidable, gotta go.