Robbie Coltrane credited as playing...
Mick
- Kevin Turvey: [attempting an interview with Mick] A-ha! I can see that you're fishing.
- [Mick ignores him]
- Kevin Turvey: A-ha, I can see that you're fishing.
- [gives Mick a kick]
- Kevin Turvey: A-ha!
- Mick: Ow!
- Kevin Turvey: I can see that you're...
- Mick: You just kicked me!
- Kevin Turvey: No, I didn't. A-ha, I can see...
- Mick: Yes, you did, you just kicked me!
- Kevin Turvey: No, I didn't! A-ha, I can see that you're fishing... Tell me, is that your rod, mate?
- Mick: [looks around] Who did kick me, then?
- Kevin Turvey: Is that your rod there?
- Mick: What are you going on about?
- Kevin Turvey: Look, I just want to know if that's your rod or not!
- Mick: 'Course it's my bloody rod! Do you think I nicked it?
- Kevin Turvey: Look, I'm just asking you a question! Er, now look... isn't it a nice day, mate?
- Mick: No.
- Kevin Turvey: Well, then, do you think that football is better than fishing or not?
- Mick: Er, yeah. Yes.
- Kevin Turvey: A-ha! In that case, why are you fishing, mate?
- Mick: 'COS I WANT TO CATCH A FISH!
- Kevin Turvey: Look, I know... Listen, er, Mick... how many fish do you think there is in this lake?
- Mick: Er... I should say about seven.
- Kevin Turvey: [to the camera] So, there you have it. Whether you're playing football or fishing, there's more fish in there than... six.
- Mick: Or maybe eight.
- Kevin Turvey: [storms off] Oh, forget it! It was just a complete waste of time!
- Mick: Do you know what I miss most about the army?
- Kevin Turvey: What?
- Mick: Sitting in me own mess.
- [Kevin shuffles away from Mick on the sofa]