The Suckling

A 2?! Oh c'mon. It deserves at least a 6 for the baby effects alone, which are pretty good for such a low budget film. First of all disregard the box comments that seem to compare it to die hard or alien because its the furthest thing from that. Look at more as an above average Troma film, which is probably who should have released it in the first place. My quest to see the movie began at a flea market in Wallingford , CT where I saw a guy selling the suckling press kit with a badass "only could have been made in the 90's" T-shirt. It looked Like an all yellow local metal band shirt. I laughed and had a look and new I had to see the film. The press kit came with a small poster on which someone had written a note in marker on the back. It says" Mike, See you Friday aug. 23 midnight bleecker theatre if possible. If not there'll be bigger + better movies next. Pete." I don't know if the suckling was a CT made film, since the company who made it, JER Pictures has a Port Chester , NY address. Either way its pretty funny, or appropriate depending on your thoughts, that the poster hangs directly above my toilet. I say we need to bring on The Suckling 2: Keep on Suckling.

Some woman gets an abortion at someone's house... er brothel (??) and then the foetus mutates into a monster and kills people. The Suckling is a Christian movie that teaches us the values of pro life and the consequences of pro choice. Just kidding but the concept of "a foetus seeking revenge against its murderer" does sound like something a pro lifer would just adore. So there you go. Now, I kinda get why people didn't like this movie. It's shot for s···, the effects are stupid, even the stop motion crap, the acting is the worst and there are some boring fillers that can sometimes slow the pacing to a halt. Well, I don't give a f···, I liked this piece of crap. Along with the plentiful bloody kills, I love all the aforementioned flaws because its my kind of entertainment. That's right. Everything I like is crap so suckle my sausage.

The Suckling is one of my favourite trashy films for many reasons. For a trashy movie it more than delivers the goods. Scenes such as the topless axe-wielding nurse, the aborted foetus sliding into the sewers and then mutating into a monster - these images will be burnt into my brain forever! Never will you see such images again in a film. The dialogue and acting is terrible but hilarious too. A few quotes: "You wouldn't know bullshit if you were standing under a bull!", "A man comes in to get his penis sucked, and gets shot off instead". The most hilarious scene is when the monster shrinks back down to foetus size - making a "ga-ga" sound - and crawls back into his mothers womb. Priceless! The Suckling is pure trashy entertainment at its best and I would recommend it to all horror b-movie fans. Ignore what everyone else has said - it's not THAT bad. Also - people continually knock the musical score, what's with that?! The opening piano music sounds so dark and haunting and fits a horror theme perfectly. I would even say that it belongs in a better film than this (by that I mean a serious horror film) because it's perfect!

well. you may guess I was being sarcastic. This is probably the worst film I have ever seen. Sewage Baby is ridicule in its purest form, with awful plot, inconsistent characters, poor editing and a puppet that could have come straight from a cereal packet.. in fact I think it did. oh dear, I don't feel I will recommend this film to anyone but those with a very odd sense of humour, or those who really have no idea about film. Vaguely good idea, yet fails to take off in the slightest. I hope you are not one of those actors...

A young girl has an illegal abortion in a house of ill-repute. The foetus is flushed down the toilet and into the sewer where, nurtured by pollution and goodness-knows-what, it survives, harbouring a grudge and glowing greenly. It then sets about popping up out of the toilets and picking off one-by-one all those responsible for its sorry fate. It is aided by the fact that all those involved are the kind of people who - on being told that there is something in the bathroom making a noise like the devil incarnate - proceed to shove their heads down the pan for a really good look.

Well, I first saw this on video in the early 90's when it was on release in the UK as "Sewage Baby", and it was so awful that I have never forgotten it. There was a kernel of a good idea here, but it was made with such technical ineptitude that even the folks at MST3K would only have been able to watch in gob-smacked silence. The photography is dire. The sound appalling- there are silent gun shots, footsteps that suddenly disappear halfway down a flight of stairs and then suddenly start again. Some of the cast are obviously actors, some are just as obviously not. The special effects are of the "let's have a Halloween party in the garage" school, with lots of atmospheric net curtains. After my sides stopped aching with laughter and my jaw returned to its normal position, I was left with many unanswered questions, like; Who ARE these people? How ever did they manage to get the money and film stock to make this movie? And how on earth did they manage to get it released? If anyone knows the answers - please tell me.....