The Suckling

Get the f!ck out of here people...1's and 2's for this film??? I'm well aware that THE SUCKLING is no great feat of exploit cinema - but this is one of the best concepts out there for sleaze and gore fans. It's a shame it wasn't pulled off more competently and with more gore, if it had, this would have been one of my favorite films of all time...

THE SUCKLING is about a guy and his girlfriend who go to a whorehouse that doubles as an illegal abortion "clinic" (?) to get rid of the unwanted bun-in-the-oven. The chick has reservations about getting rid of it, so boyfriend and the coat-hanger technician unwillingly drug the girl so she doesn't have a choice in the matter (??). After the fetus is yanked, it's flushed down the toilet (???) where it encounters some radioactive material (????) and begins to mutate(?????) (at this point I feel compelled to tell you that this is no joke, this is really the plot of the film - and the fetus-mutation scene is hilariously awesome - think the "resurrection" scene from HELLRAISER meets that weird looking baby-thing from COMBAT SHOCK...). The fetus grows into some giant goofy looking monster, puts some sort of membrane around the house so those inside can't get out...and takes it's revenge on the occupants of the whorehouse (including it's "parents") for it's mistreatment (????????????)...

I couldn't make this sh!t up if I tried...THE SUCKLING has one of the most gloriously sleazy plots I could ever hope to actually witness on screen. But with such a wonderfully insane storyline - this film actually ends up being kind of disappointing. It starts out very strong, and ends very strong - but the middle is pretty dull and uneventful. There are SOOOOOO many things that could have been done with this film (even with a micro-budget) that weren't, and there was too much sitting around and talking by the "hostages", where there really should have been more gore and sleaze. Even so, I still dug this one if only for concept alone...but nah, it wasn't just that - there are definitely some "fun" things going on in this one. Probably not to everyone's taste as most "normal" people would have no interest in watching a radiated aborted fetus kill a bunch of people - but some of us really do - so if this sorta thing's your bag, I suggest giving it the once-over...7.5/10

The Suckling is one of my favourite trashy films for many reasons. For a trashy movie it more than delivers the goods. Scenes such as the topless axe-wielding nurse, the aborted foetus sliding into the sewers and then mutating into a monster - these images will be burnt into my brain forever! Never will you see such images again in a film. The dialogue and acting is terrible but hilarious too. A few quotes: "You wouldn't know bullshit if you were standing under a bull!", "A man comes in to get his penis sucked, and gets shot off instead". The most hilarious scene is when the monster shrinks back down to foetus size - making a "ga-ga" sound - and crawls back into his mothers womb. Priceless! The Suckling is pure trashy entertainment at its best and I would recommend it to all horror b-movie fans. Ignore what everyone else has said - it's not THAT bad. Also - people continually knock the musical score, what's with that?! The opening piano music sounds so dark and haunting and fits a horror theme perfectly. I would even say that it belongs in a better film than this (by that I mean a serious horror film) because it's perfect!

A young girl has an illegal abortion in a house of ill-repute. The foetus is flushed down the toilet and into the sewer where, nurtured by pollution and goodness-knows-what, it survives, harbouring a grudge and glowing greenly. It then sets about popping up out of the toilets and picking off one-by-one all those responsible for its sorry fate. It is aided by the fact that all those involved are the kind of people who - on being told that there is something in the bathroom making a noise like the devil incarnate - proceed to shove their heads down the pan for a really good look.

Well, I first saw this on video in the early 90's when it was on release in the UK as "Sewage Baby", and it was so awful that I have never forgotten it. There was a kernel of a good idea here, but it was made with such technical ineptitude that even the folks at MST3K would only have been able to watch in gob-smacked silence. The photography is dire. The sound appalling- there are silent gun shots, footsteps that suddenly disappear halfway down a flight of stairs and then suddenly start again. Some of the cast are obviously actors, some are just as obviously not. The special effects are of the "let's have a Halloween party in the garage" school, with lots of atmospheric net curtains. After my sides stopped aching with laughter and my jaw returned to its normal position, I was left with many unanswered questions, like; Who ARE these people? How ever did they manage to get the money and film stock to make this movie? And how on earth did they manage to get it released? If anyone knows the answers - please tell me.....

well. you may guess I was being sarcastic. This is probably the worst film I have ever seen. Sewage Baby is ridicule in its purest form, with awful plot, inconsistent characters, poor editing and a puppet that could have come straight from a cereal packet.. in fact I think it did. oh dear, I don't feel I will recommend this film to anyone but those with a very odd sense of humour, or those who really have no idea about film. Vaguely good idea, yet fails to take off in the slightest. I hope you are not one of those actors...

Sometimes, fun and blood go together. THE SUCKLING is under that rule. The plot is, of course, of clase B-films and so the FX and the actors. But the result is really funny: a little creature takes a house and its inhabitants and moves misteriously around it. The final scene is one of the more bizarre shots I have ever seen.