Timothy Spall credited as playing...
David 'Beano' Baggot
- Beano: [Playing a game to name bands with parts of the body as part of their name] Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show!
- Clare: Objection, your honor!
- Hughie: Objection sustained.
- Beano: Well, some people 'ave hooks instead of hands.
- Les: Yeah, but it's not part of the body; it's not... anotomical.
- Beano: It is if you haven't got a fuckin' hand!
- Les: [pointing to at the girls T-Shirt] Where did you get that T-Shirt
- Beano: Looks like '77's been through the wash a few times
- Dutch Lady: 'Tis my father's, he say best band he ever saw.
- Les: Oh.
- Dutch Lady: My father, he died.
- Beano: Oh.
- Les: Oh... That's a shitter.
- Ray Simms: It's another sign, Brian sent them.
- Karen Knowles: [after almost running Beano over as he runs from the tax man] Beano!
- Beano: What the fuck are you doing here?
- Tony Costello: How do you feel about getting the Fruits together again, Beano?
- Beano: Not a moment too soon, my old son!
- Hughie: Hope this isn't another Sunderland!
- [speaking of Ray's mood swings]
- Luke Shand: What happened at Sunderland?
- Beano: He tried to slash his wrists with my Swiss Army knife.
- Les: Yeah, he'd never find the blade.
- Karen Knowles: [referring to Ray's mental state] This could be serious. He's on Prozac. Astrid told me.
- Beano: Prozac and alfafa sprouts? That could be lethal.
- Beano: What do you think then, Luke?
- Luke Shand: I thought we were shit, guys.
- Les: Kill that racket, Hughie.
- Beano: Come again?
- Luke Shand: We were totally crap, I mean, especially on 'Heartbreaker'. I think we should dump that altogether.
- Tony Costello: It's a classic!
- Luke Shand: Well, maybe we should agree on what key it's in.
- Les: B-flat.
- Ray Simms: C.
- Tony Costello: G.
- Beano: You were engaged to a Guinness heiress, wasn't it?
- Tony Costello: Yeah, but they paid me to go away.
- Beano: Not enough from the look of ya.
- Tony Costello: Never is, man.
- Snotty Reporter: So which Fruit's which?
- Beano: Well, I'm Posh Fruit. Les is Sour Fruit, and Ray's the only one that's got any money so he's Bread Fruit.
- Zoë: So what does that make you, Brian? Bruised Fruit?
- Lady in Black: You were in the first band I ever saw. When I got home my father banned me from ever going to see a rock concert again. He was a Methodist.
- Beano: So what do you want from me?
- Lady in Black: Quick, violent sex!