LL Cool J credited as playing...
Sherman 'Preacher' Dudley
- Preacher: Einstein's theory of relativity. Grab hold of a hot pan, second can seem like an hour. Put your hands on a hot woman, an hour can seem like a second. It's all relative.
- Tom Scoggins: I spent four years at CalTech, and that's the best physics explanation I've ever heard.
- Preacher: Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil. For thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. Because I carry a big stick and I'm the meanest mother fucker in the valley! Two sharks down, Lord! One demon fish to go! Can I get an Amen?
- Carter Blake: A 45-foot shark, and you hit me. Nice.
- Preacher: Shit, it could've been worse. I could've let him eat your ass.
- Preacher: We will start with the perfect omelette which is made with two eggs not three. Amateurs often add milk for density; this is a mistake.
- [last lines]
- Carter Blake: Let me tell you, man. I quit this job.
- Preacher: Take me back to the ghetto.
- Carter Blake: Amen.
- Tom Scoggins: Come on, Jan was a healthy girl she must've had something that run on batteries.
- Preacher: Nice.
- Tom Scoggins: Where would a girl keep her... rrrrrrrn... thing?
- Preacher: Hey, what's the matter with you?
- Preacher: You're the guy that got caught in that avalanche, right?
- Russell Franklin: Yeah, I'm the one.
- Preacher: Like black men don't have enough ways to get killed without climbing up some stupid ass mountain in the middle of God's nowhere! You leave that to the white folks! Brother!
- The Parrot: Fat butt... you got a big fat butt!
- Preacher: Any of your nonsense and we're gonna have tiny little drumsticks on the menu tonight.
- Sherman "Preacher" Dudley: You weren't the sunny kid in your class, were you?
- Carter Blake: I never went to class.
- Preacher: [to Carter who has his feet in the water] Let me ask you something, are you sure it was just three sharks?
- Carter Blake: Yeah.
- Preacher: Oh. Okay.
- Preacher: [Carter takes his feet out of the water] That's more like it.
- Preacher: I hate to interrupt this moment of burgeoning intimacy but can we get the fuck out of here?