Clockmaker

My second made-for-kids shot-in-Romania slice of junk following on from LITTLE GHOST. This one's another straight-to-video effort about a couple of kids who get involved with a weird old man who just so happens to have a time machine in his apartment. What unfolds is an adventure in which the kids run around a lot while the viewer suffers the effects that only a very poor and dated production can bring.

Nothing screams dated like a film made in the late 1990s and indeed CLOCKMAKERS is a very dated film. The cheesy CGI effects probably date it the worst, but the mannered acting and exaggerated performances really hurt it too. At least LITTLE GHOST was fun in a cheesy, CASPER rip-off kind of way, whereas CLOCKMAKERS is just inane. Attempts to bring to life the 19th century are quite woeful and overall this is on par with a cheap TV episode of a long forgotten kid's show. I notice once again a link to Full Moon Entertainment with writer Neal Marshall Stevens (here hiding under a pseudonym) contributing the script.

Well nobody else has commented on it so I might as well. This movie is just plain annoying. The camera swoops and dives, the characters are stupid, and the plot is stupid. Not to mention the very un-special effects. I won't recount this movie, but I will warn you to avoid it. Unless, like me, you are a fan of crap cinema, don't even think about it. If you are, than at least have a couple of friends over and make fun of it.

A whiz kid's friend mysteriously goes missing in eccentric Mr. Markham's apartment, which is filled with clock-like mechanisms. He and an older female friend are compelled to go back to the Victorian era to find him and fix a disruption in the time continuum. Will any of them make it back alive?

"Clockmaker" (1998) was later released to DVD as "Timekeeper." Shot at a studio in Bucharest, Romania, with American leads, it's a combination of "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" and "The Goonies" mixed with the time-travel elements and low production values of Star Trek episodes "The City on the Edge of Forever" and "Time's Arrow" (the latter a 2-part TNG story). It's similar in spirit to "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids."

In the mayhem of the second half, the kids' dialogue is a little hard to hear, so I suggest using the subtitles (I have no idea why it wasn't turned up in the final mix). In any case, this is an entertaining enough flick if you don't demand the blockbuster standards of "Willy Wonka," "The Goonies" and "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids." A lot of imagination was used in the colorful sets and concepts despite the low budget.

One of the highlights is winsome Katie Johnston as petite blonde Mary Beth Grace. She's obviously a couple years older than the two boys, which is reminiscent of the protagonists in "The Goonies," "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids" and "In Search of the Castaways." This caused someone to question their friendship, but the answer is simple: They're kids from the same apartment building, but she's not exactly best friends with the boys, which is clear at the outset.

Despite the lack of blockbuster funds, I'd watch this any day over the lousy "In Search of the Castaways."

It runs 1 hour, 22 minutes.

GRADE: B-/C+

Found this on Amazon Prime and sat down to watch it with the kids. They gave up before it was half way through. A combination of cheap special effects, low production values, attrocious acting (mostly from the adult cast) and a convoluted yet boring plot make this one of the worst family films ever. Amazon seem to have a large collection of this sort of thing in their vaults. Where do they find them and why do they bother looking??? Do your kids a favour and give this a big miss.

Wow, what a bizarre film from Full Moon Studios' label for family entertainment 'Pulse Pounders'. Writer Carr (actually Hollywood guy Neal Marshall Stevens of Thirteen Ghosts 'fame') has been involved in a number of Full Moon flicks including the enjoyable 'Stitches' and 'Sideshow' but generally his fare has been substandard. Here three annoying children, Mary Beth, Henry and Devon are sucked in to a weird world populated by strict men in suits and others wearing strange chemical jackets and face masks. They run around, getting separated and meeting up again many times and eventually get rescued by the Clockmaker whose shop they had broken in to when the trouble started and who it turns out is actually the obese child grown up. Confusing? Indeed. Dull, lifeless and utterly ridiculous this film never rises above poor.