Hot Wax Zombies on Wheels

I knew about this movie only by its title, but I never actually got around to watching it before now in 2024. I have to say that I wasn't really harboring much of any grand expectations to director Michael Roush and writer Elizabeth Bergholz. But given the movie's title, I figured that I would be in for a horror comedy.

This was a brutally dull movie to sit through. Especially since the storyline was a dumpster fire of a storyline. There was nothing enjoyable or entertaining about the rubbish that writer Elizabeth Bergholz had conjured up for this movie.

I gave up 42 minutes into the movie, as it was painstakingly obvious that there would never be any zombies in the movie. And I was ready to claw my eyes out from sheer and utter boredom from the lack of an interesting narrative. So yeah, the movie's title was pretty misleading.

The only familiar face on the cast list, for me, was actor Nils Allen Stewart. I can't say that the acting performances in the movie were particularly impressive or memorable. But at least they weren't among the worst of acting performances that I've witnessed in zombie movies. Usually I like watching movies with a cast ensemble of unfamiliar talents on the screen, but I have to say that the actors and actresses didn't really have much of anything wholesome to work with here.

This is not a movie that I will ever return to attempt finish watching. Nor is it a movie that I would recommend for fans of the horror comedy genre. There just simply wasn't a single ounce of laughter anywhere to be had.

Well, maybe if you a young teenager watching this movie, you might find something worthwhile in the movie.

My rating of this abysmal dung heap lands on a one out of ten stars.

Oh merciful heavens, is this ever one of the most terrible 'zombie' movies to be put out there, for a start it wasn't even really about zombies from what little I was able to discern from the incoherent chaos that they called the plot, it was mostly just a lot of footage of very scantily clad females riding on motorcycles, and maybe to some that constitutes an enjoyable bad horror movie but nah, this was just rotten, there was no story! It's funny the way that no matter how many bottom of the barrel efforts you see there's always the glorious poop-diamonds like this winner here just waiting around the corner to give you a big surprise! The ones like this are truly the worst because they're such earsplitting pains to sit through and are positively bursting at the seams with stupid, and Hot Wax Zombies on Wheels is one of the worst most incompetent pieces of zombie movie trash I have ever come across in all my movie watching days, and so please, if you should ever have the misfortune to find a copy of this in some bargain bin somewhere, do yourself a favour and buy it, so that you may subsequently, burn it!

For the record, I am a connoisseur of bad movies. Every Sunday I grab a cold 40 (of beer) and watch a bad movie with my buddies. I love movies that try hard, yet make you wonder, "What the hell were they thinking?" We've seen some great ones: Rad, Midnight Madness, Escape from New York, Gymkata, Breakin'...

From the title, Hot Wax Zombies on Wheels, I thought I'd really found a film with promise. Oh how horribly wrong I was! This movie is too bad to even laugh at, let alone with. It's obvious that they weren't even trying. I'm still not sure whether they were trying for horror spoof or just soft porn. Either way, they failed miserably. Even if you could tolerate the bad acting, inane dialogue, and incomprehensible plot, you still won't be able to handle the cartoon sound effects, flying fish in every other scene, and excruciatingly slow pace. Yes, it's even worse than Frankenhooker.

I've never written a review here before, but I felt compelled to do so in the hope that I can prevent others from wasting their time and money on this mess.

My only requirement is production value. I'm just not down with 7th grade video projects for the camera club. That brings us to this. This is just friggen pathetic. FIN

Lots of amateurs behind and in front of the camera for this grade-z home movie, but not one of them is able to bring anything of value to this schlock. There's not a single joke that works. Oh well, the DVD makes an interesting drink coaster.