Hot Wax Zombies on Wheels

You think full body waxing is painful? Then try suffering through this inane travesty, which HAS to be one of the most irritating and incompetently made horror comedies I have ever had the misfortune of suffering through.

Sharon (Jill Miller), a lingerie saleslady and city council member, and Sven (Tre Lovell), a barber and her best friend, team up to stop `Chez Yvonne,' a beauty salon which specializes in the removal of body hair. Using a specially formulated wax treatment, innocent customers are turned into lusty living dead minions who chant `no more pesky body hair' over and over again and have insatiable sex drives. The evil lady in charge, Yvonne Wayne (soft porn actress Gwen Somers in a blonde wig), is a cackling, caped, motorcycle-riding dominatrix who moves from city to city turning folks into `zombies' (the filmmakers didn't bother with any make-up or special effects).

Unmercifully overacted by the entire talent-barren cast, the director (who apparently does not understand the meaning of scene continuity) stoops to using speeded-up film, `comical' sound effects (`boing!,' kazoo, flatulence, etc.) and T&A provided by women who look like they've been around the block (a few thousand times) in an attempt to entertain his audience. He fails miserably. Interjected mid-scene, for no apparent reason other than to pad out the running time, are flashes of the moon or boats or lightning or even military stock footage. I honestly had to stop this video four times and take a breather before I could finish it. Let's hope we never have to hear from director Mike J. Roush or scripter Elizabeth S.J. Bergholz ever again, but after this, it is doubtful we will.

Score: 1 out of 10

Pretty awful stuff. Even though I thought I knew I was getting into a trashy trashy movie it exceeded my expectations of badness. The worst thing about it though is that it's just dull. I was almost falling asleep a lot despite not being tired, I was up for hours after it finished! Some people will like it, but only very, very easily entertained simple-minded folks with no sense of discretion in what they watch. Hell, I like a bunch of Troma and other low budget trash like Ankle Biters and Troll 2. Don't make the mistake of thinking that this is in that class. Those movies are actually funny. The thing with this one is that it trys to be funny and manages only to mildly amuse for a second here and there.

One thing, if you are a fan of fake boobs you will probably think it's great, as there is a fair amount of attempting to wax womens tits for some reason. Well, the reason being to show plastic tits for those that like that kind of thing. I'm a naturals fan, so this movie really had nothing for me at all.

Oh merciful heavens, is this ever one of the most terrible 'zombie' movies to be put out there, for a start it wasn't even really about zombies from what little I was able to discern from the incoherent chaos that they called the plot, it was mostly just a lot of footage of very scantily clad females riding on motorcycles, and maybe to some that constitutes an enjoyable bad horror movie but nah, this was just rotten, there was no story! It's funny the way that no matter how many bottom of the barrel efforts you see there's always the glorious poop-diamonds like this winner here just waiting around the corner to give you a big surprise! The ones like this are truly the worst because they're such earsplitting pains to sit through and are positively bursting at the seams with stupid, and Hot Wax Zombies on Wheels is one of the worst most incompetent pieces of zombie movie trash I have ever come across in all my movie watching days, and so please, if you should ever have the misfortune to find a copy of this in some bargain bin somewhere, do yourself a favour and buy it, so that you may subsequently, burn it!

Granted this will not win any awards, but I found it funny, in a stupid kind of way. The director obviously didn't intend for the film to be a serious horror film, and it's in the very presentation of it being a serious film that makes it funny. To me, this is a grab-a-beer-sit-and-giggle movie. It's a little slow in the first 15 minutes, but then seems to pick up tempo. The soundtrack is great! I've been looking for the soundtrack to buy, but can;t seem to find it. For anyone interested in seeing this - there's very little skin, though it does have some topless scenes. It's a romp, if you're in a silly mood. Having been around independent productions, the screen quality of this film is tremendous.

This movie is one of the worst I have seen in all of my life (and I've seen very bad movies): it's a total incorehent mess, a comedy of horror that isn't able to bring out a single laugh from you. Even the several nude scenes are ludicrous at best. A movie that need to be buried into hot wax for the rest of time