Shark Attack

When we've moved on from the preconceptions of the 70's and the voracious shark, this moves us straight back there again.

No tension.... no fear factor here... a section where the sharks are completely forgotten about...

and a death where the guy seems to let himself get eaten.

Oh how I yearn to see the third one in the series... it's worse you know.

J

Casper Van Dien breaks a new record in looking shabby in this movie, although he is supposed to be a marine biologist. If you can buy that, you will probably be able to handle the rest of the movie as well. "Shark Attack" tells the story of Van Dien going to South Africa (where just about everyone seem to be a hustler), to look for his missing friend. He finds out that his friend became shark food, and tries to find out why the sharks have started to behave so aggressively in this particular area. He gets help by another expert, Corinne, who loves to run around in her bikini while trying to solve the case.

If you are looking for really bad acting, check out "Shark Attack". You won´t believe your eyes. The effects are awfully lousy, unless you find rubber sharks convincing. The script contained so many old cliches that I lost count of them, and that is not too good. Right from the start it is quite obvious who is good and who is evil.

These kind of films can be so bad that they become entertaining, but "Shark Attack" is not fun at all. Man, I´d rather watch an episode of "Baywatch" than this kind of crap. Why somebody felt it was necessary to make a sequel to "Shark Attack" I have no idea.

* out of * * * * *

The worst shark movie ever made. Yeah even better than those two god-awful Jaws sequels: Jaws 3D & Jaws The Revenge. Check this out: Some people trying to catch a huge white shark at a small lake. That's odd, they usually appear in the ocean. If anyone have seen a shark in a river or lake before, please tell me.

If you thought the shark looks fake in Jaws. This shark looks so fake, your eyes will pop out. Did I already mention you about the bad acting? Pretty lousy, you ask me. Don't watch it. It's not worth your time. I am really sorry that I've wasted my time on this stupid movie.

No Stars

After receiving an incomplete E-Mail from a good friend concerning large numbers of sharks off the coast of Africa, "Steven McKray" (Casper Van Dien) travels to that area to provide assistance. However, when he gets there he is told that his friend, "Marc Desantis" (Cordell McQueen) has died in a shark attack. He also discovers that the facts related to his friend's death don't add up. This prompts him and Marc's sister, "Corine Desantis" (Jennifer McShane) to investigate the area where the supposed accident happened. They then discover certain irregularities that cannot be explained as mere coincidence and begin to suspect a human connection to the increase in shark attacks. Now rather than reveal any more of this film and risk spoiling it for those who haven't seen it I will just say that for a made-for-television movie this particular picture wasn't too bad. Naturally, considering the limitations placed on a film of this sort the viewer should probably take this into consideration to a certain extent. That said there were no scenes involving graphic language or of a sexual nature. There were, however, several good shark scenes and the plot had enough intrigue to remain interesting for the most part. Even so the movie seemed a bit mild compared to other films in this genre and because of that I have to rate it as slightly below average.

....as my DVD player stopped playing it after about an hour. I am in no doubt however it was doing me a favour, saving me before my brain had totally rotted. Luckily I did get to see the car chase, which contains quite possibly the worst editing I have ever seen in my life (the police are driving and old Alfa Romeo 33, which suddenly changes to a mark 1 Ford Sierra, then back to an Alfa, then crashes as a Sierra! Do these people even watch the film when they've finished making it? The cars don't even look remotely similar!)

But I digress. As you've probably worked out by now I hate this film. Even if it has got Ernie Hudson in it (who will always be a God in my eyes for appearing in Ghostbusters.) Most of the movie has nothing to do with sharks, just corrupt cops. I guess they'd run out of money by this point so you get the good old 'z-list actor throwing themselves around in the water whilst someone lets off red food dye' trick. Unless your life depends on it, do not watch this film. And even then only do if you've got a lot to live for.....