Chill Factor

There's only one reason to watch "Chill Factor", and that's Peter Firth (Colonel Andrew Brynner) and his bunch of totally useless elite commandos / terrorists.

The plot is awful, the dialogue is terrible, and it makes you wince to think that Cuba Gooding Jnr once won an Oscar. However, this movie contains some of the most useless bad guys you've ever seen .

Laugh out loud as one chap abseils into the path of a moving van, whilst another rides his motorbike into the grill of an oncoming truck. Grab your sides as Peter Firth delivers line after line of hilarious empty threats, movie clichés, and, in some cases, complete and utter rubbish.

The movie lacks pace (apart from a nicely done initial disaster) and has no idea which genre it belongs to. Is it a bad action movie, a send up, or a comedy buddy movie? Who knows? What I do know is that Peter Firth realised he was making an absolute stinker of a movie and took the opportunity to ham-it-up to the max. He's a serious contender for worst movie bad guy ever, who clearly recruits his goons from the school for the seriously challenged.

Watch out for his numerous attempts to steal best movie leer from John Voight in Anaconda!

This film was complete trash, but in a good way. I've always looked upon Cuba Gooding Jnr as a semi decent actor but if this is the kind of film he is going to be starring in, then I can see him descending the same way as Charlie Sheen.

You can see from the outset that the makers tried to make one of those high octane action thrillers, which are ten-a-penny these days. But when you've got a budget that would struggle to finance an episode of quantum leap, then maybe making a film of this kind wasn't such a good idea.

They make use of computer graphics in a lot of the action scenes which, to be honest, doesn't look the worst I have ever seen, but still prompts you to snicker at how bad it is. The most ridiculous of which occurs at the end of the movie, when a chemical weapon which we have been told has the power to blow up basically a quarter of America, detonates in a tunnel.

At this point we are subjected to rotten computer graphics which are so bad that I instantly had flashbacks of Dean Stockwell and the film-making atrocity that was the Langoliers.

But the story is complete nonsense, so even with a budget the size of Lord of the Rings, there would be no way of making the whole thing believable anyway. So you can perhaps see where the producer was coming from i.e. lets make a cheap action thriller and we'll plaster Cuba Gooding's face over the front cover and we'll maybe make some money.

It would've have been better if Eric Roberts had been given the leading role.

When a top secret military project on an tropical island goes wrong it results in the death of 18 soldiers. Colonel Brynner is jailed for the accident he swears revenge on Dr Long. On his release he attempts to steal the biological weapon but Long manages to escape. He gets as far as a local restaurant where he enlists local boy Tim Mason and ice cream delivery worker Arlo to take the weapon and deliver it safely back to the Government. The only condition is that the weapon must be kept below 50 degrees Fahrenheit or else it will go off and kill everything for hundreds of miles.

When I sat to watch this it was really because it had been a good few weeks since I had seen a really bad film – from the plot summary I had assumed that this would be one, even with my low expectations. In no way did I think this was a good film but it wasn't as rubbish as other reviews have suggested – rather it is simply uninspired, clichéd and silly. The plot seems daft and it is – mainly because trained military special ops can't seem to catch two small time crooks driving a clapped out van in the desert. However it manages to be enjoyable as it keeps moving constantly and stops you being distracted for even a second, lest you should ask questions.

The action is OK but never really gets the tension up in the same way that Speed did. The director is owed a lot of credit, despite the clichés he really keeps the pace up and makes this better than it should have been.

The acting is not good but is acceptable and is all that is needed for this sort of film. Ulrich is not a leading man and Gooding Jr seems to be trying to prove that the Oscar was a one-off, but together they have an easy chemistry despite it being the usual old mismatched buddy movie banter. Firth plays a traditional bad guy and Paymer seems to have taken his misguided scientist straight from the cliché text book.

Overall this is a poor film. It has no real good ideas of it's own (even the `keep it below 50' idea is someone else's) and it is clichéd all the way. However it keeps moving with such energy that it is hard not to veg out in front of it – just don't expect a good film. You could do worse but you could do a whole hell of a lot better.

I'm no snob who only loves foreign movies and turns his nose at mainstream entertainment - in fact, I am quite forgiving for genre films, and I enjoy a lot of B movies as well. However, this major Hollywood is just as bad as many of the worst B films. Despite a respectable budget, the movie looks quite cheap, sometimes embarrassingly so, like when you see a guide cable hooked to the boat, or when you see that a major highway up a mountain is A DIRT ROAD (?!) The protagonists are annoying little jerks, and you feel sorry for Gooding for playing a foul-mouthed stereotyped hustler. In fact, the chief antagonist is more sympathetic than they are! There's also not that much action, and what there is has been filmed a la "Speed 2" (jiggily camera close-up).

Even if it's free on TV and you're feeling undemanding, you'll feel as frustrated as I felt at the end.

This one sucked. I mean, I can see the appeal of a plain-jane action movie, but this one has been coughed up from the phlegmatic lungs of hundreds of other action movies. Every single damned line in the whole thing was a big cliche. For God's sake, Cuba Gooding, Jr. at one point says, "When this is over, remind me to kick your ass." Raise your hands if you've heard that one before. Skeet Ulrich, I liked. Cuba Gooding, Jr., I didn't. The only line he delivers that I liked was the same one that everyone has heard a hundred times in the advertisements, so, I was ready for it. AVOID.