Seann William Scott credited as playing...
Stifler
- Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: [On being sensitive] You ask them questions, and listen to what they have to say and shit.
- Steve Stifler: I dunno, man, that sounds like a lot of work.
- Steve Stifler: [at choir practice] What did you cocks do to him?
- Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: You came to see me in action?
- Jim: Yeah man, I thought you sounded really good!
- Steve Stifler: Yeah man, I think you need your balls reattached!
- Kevin: [Stifler is vomiting in a toilet] Hey, Stifler, how's the "Pale Ale"?
- Steve Stifler: [vomiting] Fuck you!
- Chuck Sherman: Vicky, Jessica, great to see you, glad you could make it! Ha ha, Bitches.
- Steve Stifler: Sherman!
- Chuck Sherman: Hey!
- Steve Stifler: What the fuck are you doing here?
- Steve Stifler: You actually said that?
- [laughs hysterically]
- Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Shut up!
- Jim: You did better than me, Nova.
- Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Don't call me that any more. I'm a fraud.
- Steve Stifler: You guys are pathetic. I'm gonna find myself a little hottie.
- [shouts]
- Steve Stifler: *suck me, beautiful!*
- [walks off, laughing]
- Steve Stifler: Choir chick! What the hell are you doing here?
- Heather: Well, uh, I was asking Chris to the prom. So do you wanna go?
- Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Yeah, that would be great.
- Steve Stifler: Well, just don't expect Oz to pay for the limo.
- Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Stifler, fuck! I mean, why do you gotta be so insensitive all the time?
- Steve Stifler: What? Whatever.
- Steve Stifler: Hey, Kev, seen Shitbrick lately?
- Kevin: Why? What did you do to him?
- Steve Stifler: Me? Nothing. I'm the one who ass he kicked. But uh... I'll tell you one thing... I don't think he's gonna have a problem shitting in school anymore. Slipped a little something into his Moccachino.
- [shows a jar of laxatives]
- Steve Stifler: I say, why don't you guys locate your dicks, remove the shrink wrap, and fucking *use* them!
- [Deleted Scene. The boys sit by the lockers]
- Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: She's a college chick.
- Jim: Cassanova!
- Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Debbie.
- Steve Stifler: Bullshit - from where?
- Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: She works part-time at my dad's store.
- Steve Stifler: Yeah right, Oz, I bet it's more like your dad works at her store.
- Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Dude, come on, he does not.
- Kevin: Really, Stifler, he's the manager.
- Steve Stifler: Hey, I'm not making fun - I'm fucking impressed! I mean, "Hi, six inch or foot-long, white or wheat?" - that's some serious shit to master!
- Kevin: Stifler, you're such an asshole!
- Steve Stifler: [chuckles] Myers... I mean, what's the deal with you and Vicky anyways? I mean you guys have been going since homecoming for God's sake and all she'll do is blow you? Shit, I'd drop her like a steaming turd!
- Finch: Do you commonly grasp warm pieces of stool?
- Steve Stifler: I do when I'm throwing them at your mom, you damn freak!
- Stifler's Brother: [after Jim prematurely ejaculates touching Nadia] What happened? What did he do?
- Steve Stifler: He blew it.
- Steve Stifler: Fuck me! There's gonna be an Eastern European chick naked in your house and you're not gonna do anything about that?
- Jim: What am I going to do? Huh? Broadcast her over the internet?
- Steve Stifler: Yeah!
- Kevin: You can do that?
- Jim: No, I cannot do that to her.
- Steve Stifler: Jim, get some fucking balls! Man, if you don't have the guts to photograph a naked chick in your house how the hell are you gonna sleep with one?
- Finch: I don't like the kid, but he's got a point, Jim.
- Steve Stifler: See, even Shitbrick knows you should do it.
- Steve Stifler: Now, all you gotta do is set up some sort of private link or whatever on the net and tell me the address.
- Kevin: You can send me the address too. I'll save you a seat.
- Matt Stifler: [after Jim prematurely ejaculates touching Nadia] What happened? What did he do?
- Steve Stifler: He blew it.