Desert Thunder

Yes, it's just like a James Bond movie, except:

even more implausible plot

bad guys can't act

good guys can't act

both are annoying anyway

or maybe it's just the script (there WAS one?)

humor isn't as good

cheap special effects

no suspense, no big ending

Seriously, I walked out of the room for a minute, came back to find the credits scrolling. I had no idea that just before that I had been watching the great ending.... there wasn't any!

The special effects all look the same - like barrels of gasoline blowing up (or whatever that frequently-used explosion effect is). It doesn't matter what's blowing up -- plane, building, car, outhouse. It looks like they built really cheap props and then just put exploding barrels in everything.

They talk about things that would sound like good effects, only you never see them because they would be too expensive to do. For example, you see a surface-to-air missile launcher sitting there. Then you hear the pilot say that there's missiles heading towards him and he takes evasive action (or maybe just talks about taking evasive action -- don't remember). Then you see the missile launcher blowing up (see paragraph above). But you never see the missile launch or fly towards the plan, because that's a more difficult effect.

And so on. But if you're really bored and like simple scripts and lots of things blowing up in a not too spectacular fashion, this movie isn't so bad.

Concocted by hack director Jim Wynorski in collaboration with Roger Corman's Concorde Films, "Desert Thunder" passes it's time a lot quicker than a lot of other low-budget action films I've seen, but is still nothing great.

Baldwin and Tyson put together a "crack" team of misfit combat pilots who have been dishonourably discharged for various antics to fly a secret covert mission to Iraq and thwart the baddies' plans to launch a biological weapon against Europe. So we've got a kind of "Top Gun"/"Iron Eagle" meets "The Dirty Dozen" movie where we know the heroes will pull together and save the day.

Riddled with clichés along the way including: a brawl in a redneck bar; convenient plot information delivered by generals and bad guys; token racial minorities; poor attempts at humour; military funeral with requisite flinching when the guns fire and Baldwin's psychological hindrance from feeling responsible for the death of another pilot. It takes 70 minutes before our heroes even make it to Iraq for the climax which feels like they forgot there was supposed to be an ending.

Still, not that horrible, but certainly no classic of action cinema. No credits are given at the end for any sort of flying effects; pilots; planes etc., which makes me wonder if the combat footage is stolen from another film? I bought it for $2 on a double bill with "Fear" (1988) which wasn't as good as it sounded.

"Desert Thunder" is a surprisingly enjoyable outing from Jim Wynorski. By the box art you would think it's a dry and serious affair. In fact, it is an upbeat and downright lighthearted experience.

Daniel Baldwin plays Lee Miller, a fighter pilot with a dark past. He is put in charge of assembling a team to fly to Iraq and stop a missile that will destroy a major city in Europe. The ragtag team are all outcasts from the military but Miller and his right hand man, Streets (Tyson) must unite them towards one common mission.

Besides Miller & Streets, the team, called "The Shadow Dancers" consists of: Burkett (Tim Abell), the hothead, Detolla, the silly chef who provides most of the comic relief, Jones, a record producer, Hasheem, A political refugee and computer nerd, and Malone, a woman who was involved in a military scandal.

Will they survive each other before they can take down the wacky Iraqis? If you watched this in 1999 it would seem "ripped from the headlines". The evil Iraqis brag about stalling U.N. weapons inspections. They say the WMD's are hidden in the palaces "where the Americans can't touch them." This is a direct slam on Hans Blix. You got burned, Blix! Daniel, one of the more underrated Baldwins, puts in an engaging performance. Miller calls people he doesn't know "Slappy" or "Sparky" and he is a compulsive gambler. Tyson is stoic as Miller's foil. They have to oversee the many training sequences, barroom brawls and food fights that pad out the running time.

It is suspected that "Thunder" contains stock footage, but this couldn't be definitively confirmed. Speaking of recycling, one pilot's airplane handle is "Eagle One", which is used in another Roger Corman production, The Hunt For Eagle One (2006).

Not only does "Desert Thunder" resemble the movie Top Gun (1986) but also the NES game "Top Gun", as shown in the Nintendo-type screen in the planes and the usage of the term "bogeys".

"Thunder" contains all the clichés you know and enjoy, mixed together with an uplifting patriotic theme, some goofy humor and some explosions. It all adds up to a rousing good time! For more insanity, please visit: comeuppancereviews.com

I am a movie watcher from way back, and I can pretty much believe anything that the director brings to the film. This is a movie that you don't need to loose any brain cells over, full with the stuff that men, and sometimes women love. Human fights, food fights, gun fights, and yes jet fights, with a explosion or two. WHAT I don't get is the other movies that are in this movie, check this out... There is a jet dog-fight from Top Gun, there is a airplane vs. two helicopters fight from Capricorn One, there is a jet vs. everything on the ground from the movie Iron Eagles. Don't get me wrong, the movie is entertaining, but the only original fight was the food.

You can feel a little more comfortable watching this movie with a Baldwin face amongst the cast. Not that it elevates this movie out of the cheap laugh range. I find it strange how some films get made that have nothing new to say, or nothing new to enjoy, no glamorous special effect value. In fact only the humour in the film was good in my view. Mostly unintentional cliche style.

This is not to say it was dull to watch. It holds a limited interest, and you do hang around to see if the good guys wins.

All things are in order. Bad guys set the plot up, threatening to fire a missile at Europe somewhere, loaded with some deadlier then anthrax thing, and the US must sort it out. Clearly no sensible options are available so it's time for the unreliable wild bunch. Twenty minutes of comedy ensue as Baldwin crowbars in a few flashbacks of why he flies planes no more. Only to change his mind and round up a bunch of dishonourably discharged pilots who all crowbar in their personal disgrace stories.

The training program and internal wrangles is mildly interesting. The spattering of jokes keep things moving, but the realism of small parts such as incompetent pilots and spies does relegate the movie from credibility.

Lots of nice desert explosions towards the end and the climax.. oh missed it, rewind and take another look, nope couldn't see it.

If you want to see a fighter plane movie watch Top Gun, if you're after the middle east related shenanigans there are hundreds of better movies. So this is in my 'nothing else on' category.