The Psychotronic Man

Peter Spelson is Rocky Fosco, a Chicago city barber with a big quiff, sideburns and a pimp moustache. He drives around listening to crap country music and fixes his hair a lot. Spelson wrote and produced this very bad, no budget supernatural psychic killer flick with his pal Jack M. Sell (the guy responsible for the music, editing and mis-direction). Obviously made fer a coupla' bucks, our hairy barber is soon blacking out and dreaming he's in a flying car surrounded by smoke and disco lights. He tells his doctor (in a sequence that flashes back to the previous two minutes) and fixes his hair some more till the headaches go out of control and he drives around and fixes his hair. Then a farmer has a flashback and Rocky kills him by using his newly acquired Psychotronic powers (which involves him fixing his hair while staring intently). Duuuuh. It's rubbish, but absolutely brilliant rubbish and the type of loose brained ESP horror trash that won't quit getting crapper/better with each passing moment and it's just an ahead of it's time amateur Scanners (80) made by inept mental patients. It's genius I tells ya'. Solid gold white trash cheeze with wonky tunes, a little blood, disco dancing, the worlds slowest, dullest, longest car / foot chase and a title way cooler than it's content. Watch it twice!

The quick pitch: An otherwise unremarkable barber goes for a long (very long) drive, has some sort of nightmare, and mysteriously develops psychotronic powers that give him the ability to kill people with his mind. The police aren't too happy when the bodies start piling-up, leading to one of the longest, dullest chases in screen history.

It's been awhile since I've watched a movie quite as bad as The Psychotronic Man. I don't hand out the dreaded "1" rating like candy. You have to earn it. But this one is a real stinker. As I've already alluded to, it's as dull as watching paint dry. Oh my God, I would have given just about anything for something to happen. I must have fallen asleep, woken up, and rewinded this abysmal film at least a half-dozen times. But what do you expect from a movie whose runtime (and I can't be bothered looking up the exact runtime) is filled with "exciting" things like watching a car drive slowly down a road, watching a doctor read papers and make notes, watching really bad dancing, or watching that damnable final chase that goes on forever. These events take up at least ¾ of the movie - I'm not exaggerating. Anyone who says they like this excruciating mess as more patience than I.

A deserved 1/10 from me.

I never expected to see a movie like this. A great "bad" film about a psychotronic barber who has looong drives in his car and kills/hurts people by touching his hair and looking all serious (this is something you do when you have THAT psychotronic disease). This has to be a movie that's better (and worse) than anything Ed Wood did, great "dumb" dialogue and wonderful bad actors. See it and you will have a whole new view on film-making..

I would advise AGAINST watching this...there's better things to do with your time and/or money. If, for some reason, you ARE gonna be subjected to this, don't expect ANY elements of many sci-fi/horror films - no special effects; no gore; no sex - virtually no attempts. So, it's a no-no, all the way. Rigid acting; illogical continuity. The plot is simple: Rocky uses psychotronic ability to dispense with people; and the Chicago-area cops get onto his trail as a result. Psychotronic wasn't in MY dictionary, but I THINK that it means that he can WILL things to happen. I suspect that he WILLED a lot of time in his car. MY psychotronic powers must need a little work: This movie continued for quite a while after I WILLED it to end.

How bizarre… It's anyone's guess what's truly going on here. Especially after watching the intro where the opening credits go on for a while. And I mean awhile. It was the title that caught my eye "Revenge of the Psychotronic Man". It screams "Hey, look at me"! Anyhow what I got myself into was something bug-eyed. Think of "The Incredible Melting Man", which was made a couple years earlier and the tone is similar, but without the graphic context. Still it wasn't as bad as I thought it might be, but you can see why it's virtually unknown. While being a penniless production, its clunky, dry and tawdry nature remains for most part rather entertaining. Why is it entertaining… because of just how unusual and surprisingly twisted it plays out? Even when it seems to concentrate on uneventful filler, there's something unnervingly atmospheric and random that makes it hypnotic. Even when some scenarios are risible (like the first death with the constant slow-motion) and long-winded (there's a lot of driving going on). Something which would hit you straight away would be the creepy score that overpowers many sequences and that of some oddball sound-effects like the ominous bell chimes that comes and goes. You get more of a rush from the music than the visual action. The direction is virtually non-existent, but the gritty location work of Chicago and the shadowy imagery gives it a bit of a moody edge. While the performances are on the stilted side, but durable enough and dialogues remain lacklustre. Bemusing low-grade horror Sci-fi.