Tanya Roberts credited as playing...
Midge Pinciotti
- [on Kitty's mother-in-law]
- Kitty Forman: Red's mother is coming.
- Midge Pinciotti: What's that pet name she has for you?
- Kitty Forman: Whore.
- Donna Pinciotti: Mom, when you and dad got into an argument, did you ever... You know...
- Midge Pinciotti: What?
- Donna Pinciotti: Well, have you ever... Stopped having sex with dad in order to win an argument?
- Midge Pinciotti: You can do that?
- Donna Pinciotti: Yeah, but...
- Midge Pinciotti: You mean that if I stop having sex with your father, he'll paint the bathroom?
- Donna Pinciotti: Yeah, but aren't you worried about how it can hurt the relationship?
- Midge Pinciotti: Blah, blah, blah. I don't care. I'm getting my bathroom painted.
- Midge Pinciotti: The unexamined self is the unfulfilled self.
- Bob Pinciotti: What do you mean? You don't feel fulfilled? Why don't you feel fulfilled? I pay the bills. I put a roof over your head. I take care of you.
- Midge Pinciotti: I know, Bob. But, what do I do?
- Bob Pinciotti: Well, you fill out that sweater real nice.
- Midge Pinciotti: Women have to be weak and fragile, so that that men can feel superior.
- Donna Pinciotti: That's insane. If women don't learn to stand up for themselves, men will always control the world.
- Midge Pinciotti: Oh honey, men don't control the world.
- Midge Pinciotti: Not only that, but Bob says my ideas are stupid.
- Kitty Forman: Well, that's the pot calling the kettle black.
- Midge Pinciotti: I know... What?
- Jackie Burkhardt: Mrs. Pinciotti, would you please tell Donna I'm right? Isn't it great when men act like they own you.
- Midge Pinciotti: Oh, yeah.
- Donna Pinciotti: Mom, what about all those feminist classes you went to?
- Midge Pinciotti: Oh, right... No.
- Midge Pinciotti: Look, Bob, even the English language is sexist. Why is it mailman and not mailwoman?
- Bob Pinciotti: Yeah. And, why is it mail? It should be female.
- Midge Pinciotti: Now you're thinking.
- Bob Pinciotti: No, I'm not. I'm just pointing out how stupid it is.
- Midge Pinciotti: You know what, Bob? You're one of them.
- [storms out]
- Bob Pinciotti: My wife is a maniac... Sorry, a womaniac.
- [the women are playing cards]
- Donna Pinciotti: Anybody need any cards.
- Jackie Burkhardt: [gives her two cards] I need two fives.
- Midge Pinciotti: I need one card.
- [Donna gives her a card]
- Midge Pinciotti: A five? Oh, here, Jackie. You take it.
- Jackie Burkhardt: Donna, you gave her a five? I thought we were friends.
- Donna Pinciotti: Mom, why do I have to do this.
- Midge Pinciotti: Donna, I have to do a lot of things I don't like to make your father happy.
- Donna Pinciotti: EWW, MOM.
- Midge Pinciotti: [laughs] Oh, not THAT. I love THAT.
- Donna Pinciotti: And exactly whose panties are these?
- Midge Pinciotti: Um, actually, they're mine.
- [Kelso and Fez kneel on the ground]
- Michael Kelso: Eric. You are a *God*.
- Kitty Forman: I don't know why they call it fondue, they should call it *fun*due, cause it sure is fun!
- Midge Pinciotti: [with a big smile] I love fondue! It's gourmet!