Debra Jo Rupp credited as playing...
Kitty Forman
- [on Kitty's mother-in-law]
- Kitty Forman: Red's mother is coming.
- Midge Pinciotti: What's that pet name she has for you?
- Kitty Forman: Whore.
- Kitty Forman: I need someone who can take evil
- [Laurie walks in]
- Kitty Forman: How's mama's girl? I have a job for you.
- Laurie Forman: Not interested.
- Kitty Forman: It pays 10 dollars.
- Laurie Forman: I'll do anything for ten dollars.
- Kitty Forman: For once that's a good thing.
- Red: [after Eric refused to be Donna's boyfriend again] Let me get this straight - Donna told you she wanted to get back together and you said NO?
- Eric: I said no.
- Red: What the Hell is wrong with you?
- Kitty Forman: Dumbass!
- [Red looks at Kitty in surprise]
- Eric: Look, I have my reasons, okay?
- Red: What the Hell could they possibly be?
- Eric: Casey dumps Donna and then Donna comes running back to ME? Look, I'm not a rebound, All right?
- Red: You're too PROUD to take her back? What exactly do you have to be proud OF? You're not an athelete! The only thing smart about you is your mouth! And, well... look at you!
- [Eric catches his parents having sex, and they find out]
- Kitty Forman: Red, say something.
- Red Forman: It's more fun than it looks.
- Kitty Forman: I have bad news. Midge left Bob.
- Eric: Are you sure? I mean, she could just be lost in the backyard.
- Eric: Donna can't be smarter than me because I'm the man, and that's just the way it is.
- Kitty Forman: Well, I do better on tests than your father, but he's the one brave enough to kill spiders. And since we've been married how many tests have I taken? None. How many spiders have your father killed? Hundreds.
- Eric: But, Mom... SPIDERS FREAK ME OUT.
- Kitty Forman: I really doubt that she's jsut abandoning Stephen, I mean, she's his mother.
- Eric: Mom, her exact words were "I know I'm your mother but I'm abandoning you."
- Kitty Forman: I'm sorry, Red, I saw this as my one chance to say 'Laurie got married' without having to add, 'And the baby came early.'
- Eric: I got a B.
- Red Forman: You couldn't get an A?
- Kitty Forman: Aww honey, don't listen to him. You did super. And Steven, you did super duper.
- Eric: Why does he get a duper?
- [after setting the table for Thanksgiving dinner]
- Kitty Forman: I feel like I'm forgetting something...
- [the phone rings]
- Kitty Forman: Oh, my God, I forgot your mom.
- Red: Well, we got vandals in this town. I was driving home and I saw the water tower giving me the finger.
- Laurie Forman: Vandals you say? Hmm, where were you last night, Eric?
- Kitty Forman: Oh, can it, Laurie. Eric you look pale. Let me see your eyes.
- [Eric just looks down]
- Kitty Forman: Look at me.
- [Eric looks at Kitty, imagining her she was naked after seeing his parents having sex]
- Kitty Forman: Do you have fever?
- Red: [Eric looks at Red, and he's imagining him naked, too] I know what you need. Right after breakfast, I want you to mow the lawn. The fresh air will do you good.
- Kitty Forman: [the camera turns around back to Kitty. Kitty is still naked and she wipes something off her chest] Eric, is something bothering you?
- Eric: [looking at Kitty and Red a couple more times] God, make it stop!
- [leaves the table]
- Red Forman: Threats aren't going to work, Kitty.
- Kitty Forman: Every newspaper you'll be reading, every nap you'll be taking, every football game you'll be watching, I'll be there, talking, talking, talking, talking.
- [on Valentine's day]
- Kitty Forman: Oooh, look how cute you are. This is just like when you were 5, and played make believe dinner. Only this time, it won't end by Donna sitting on Eric's face.
- [Awkward pause]
- Kitty Forman: OK.
- [Kitty and Red start leaving]
- Red Forman: Kitty, that was bad.
- Kitty Forman: I know, keep walking.
- [Kitt and Red finally leave]
- Eric: Oh, good, and I thought this was going to be awkward.