The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer

This may be the worst TV show ever to make it into a network prime-time slot. It was juvenile, dumb, and just plain not funny. Horny Abe?? A sarcastic black butler??? What were they thinking?????? I honestly think I'd rather sit through a Love Boat marathon than see this wretched refuse again, which is saying quite a lot. I'd love to give it a zero, but you can't--so I'm giving it one star apiece for Chi McBride (Pushing Daisies, Boston Public) and Dann Florek (Law & Order, L.A. Law). They deserved--and got--much better than this. I think this ended the production careers of the creators, and deservedly so. If you really must see it, I think it's on YouTube. But...please don't.

"The Secret Diaries of Desmond Pfieffer" was a television show that, sadly, only lasted for four weeks, during which the show and its premise was constantly derided and mocked by the media and largely ignored by the television viewing public.

True, a sitcom about Abraham Lincoln's sarcastic black butler sounds silly, and it is, but luckily the show carried a sense of self-awareness. Despite one atrocious episode (in which the drunken Ulysses S. Grant faces down his bowling demons) the show 's remaining three were not pitifully stupid, as some folks would have you believe.

The cast was top notch: Chi MacBride (who was Cyrus in Peter Jackson's under-rated "The Frighteners") is simply superb as the title character: A dignified and intelligent overwieght black man, truly a rarity among prime-time role models. Max Baker was the image of perfection as Nibblet, the inbred indentured servant, and Dan Florik was suitable as the Bill Clinton-meets-Gerald Ford Lincoln.

The show isn't perfect, though. Many jokes fall flat, and the woman playing Mrs. Lincoln is quite annoying.

But the show had its moments, as evidenced in the episode in which Desmond, Nibblet, and Lincoln are stranded behind Confederate Lines. Desmond has convinced the Southern soldiers that he is, in fact, a white Confederate spy disguised as a black Northern free slave. One Southerner inquirers, "It must be awfully hard on you to even temporarily go through life as a Negro."

To which Desmond replies "Oh, it hasn't been that bad. I have been able to get a lot more white women!"

It will be missed.

Not only was this show stupid and insulting to everyone involved, it was a dreadful concept for a comedy. One could make a fascinating story about the black slaves and free servants that worked in the Executive mansion, a kind of "West Wing" mixed with "Upstairs Downstairs," but rather than doing that, the producers decided to go with a low brow yuk fest that was both historically inaccurate and not at all funny. Given that it was set at one of the most stressful times in American history, a period in which decisions were made that set the course for everything that came afterward in the USA, one could do a satire of contemporary morals and cultural beliefs that would be both enlightening and humorous; but that was not what we got in this show. What the producers delivered was leering juvenile jokes about horny wives, stupid politicians and funny slavery. The show lasted less than a season, and that was still too long.

This was a surprisingly good show. If it just hadn't been so politically correct. It made fun of all the characters except Desmond, the title character. I think that it was good for children because it introduced historical characters in a humorous context. The drunken U.S. Grant was a good example. In showing his weakness for booze young people can understand him as a human being, and not simply a face on a bill. My favorite episode was the one where President Lincoln was engaging in telegraph sex and his messaged were received by a Southern general who wanted to surrender. Upon receiving the telegram the Southern general commented that the North was going to attack and "take me from the rear." Any show which can make a joke like that work deserved a better fate than that which befell this show.

Sure this wasn't the greatest show on TV, but it seemed that those opposed to it (because of it "racial insensitivity") just wanted to get TV air time. The sole African American character (Chi McBride) the most intelligent! And the show tried to to meld well-worn characters into modern (albeit crude) comedy. By contrast the newer "Still Standing" (with Jami Gertz) is TOTALLY unfunny, and even rips off entire scenes (and plot lines) from another unfunny "hit" show ("Yes, Dear"). Maybe it's because I like history, but I can't believe this was off the air faster than any of those endless "Friends" clones.