Arleen Sorkin credited as playing...
Dr. Harleen Quinzel • Harley Quinn
- [Joker's plane crashes into the sea and explodes]
- Harley Quinn: Puddin'!
- Batman: At this point, he probably is.
- [Harley's driving Lex Luthor's limo]
- Harley Quinn: Whoa, momma, check out the cute hitchhiker!
- The Joker: [hitchhiking and showing off his gams] Yoo-hoo!
- [Mercy is watching Harley Quinn, on TV, being tossed into a padded wagon in a straightjacket]
- Harley Quinn: I want a lawyer! I want a doctor! I want a cheese sandwich!
- Mercy Graves: Now that's funny! Ha, ha, ha!
- Lex Luthor: [grabs Joker] You maniac! You idiot! How dare you use one of my laboratories for your...?
- Joker: Harley?
- [Harley somersaults out and strikes a ridiculous fighting stance]
- Harley Quinn: Put him down, baldy!
- Lex Luthor: Mercy?
- [Mercy slams a flying kick into Harley]
- Mercy Graves: Here's for that punch in the face!
- Joker: [to Luthor] Can't we discuss this like gentlemen?
- [Luthor reluctantly releases Joker, while sounds of fighting continue in the background]
- Harley Quinn: Ooh, listen to Little Miss Can't-Take-A-Joke!
- [as Joker guides Luthor to a chair, Mercy goes flying across the room]
- Joker: Thank you. Have a seat, please.
- [as they sit, Harley charges across the room]
- Harley Quinn: BANZAI!
- Harley Quinn: [playing with a Batman-shaped cookie while trying to cheer up Joker] Hello, Mr. J. I'm Batman. Eat me! Eat me! Eat me!
- Joker: [breaks the cookie] I know you're trying to cheer me up, Harley. But you see, anytime I blow a billion dollar deal, *it really kills my appetite*!
- [first lines]
- Harley Quinn: Hang on there, Clyde!
- Pawn Shop Broker: Sorry, miss, we're closed.
- Harley Quinn: Just look at what I'm selling! You'll plotz!
- Harley Quinn: [holding a gingerbread Batman cookie] Hello, Mr. J. I'm Batman! Eat me! Eat me! Eat me!
- [as Luthor and Joker finish their discussion, Mercy and Harley are still pounding each other's heads on the floor]
- Lex Luthor: Mercy, let's go!
- [to Joker]
- Lex Luthor: Keep in mind, this is your last chance.
- [He walks out. Mercy limps after him, groaning. Harley limps over to Joker, also groaning]
- Joker: How you doin', slugger?
- Harley Quinn: A-okay, Mr. J!
- [He pats her on the shoulder. She collapses]