Saverio Guerra credited as playing...
Bob
- [Bob is trying to get reparations for being 1/64th Native American]
- Bob: You people have no idea what it's like to be discriminated against!
- Jake Malinak: Yeah, I'm a blind black man, we just SAIL through life.
- Bob: I was doing some research on the internet...
- Dr. John Becker: Must have come as a surprise that it's not all porn, huh?
- Bob: One shock at a time.
- Bob: I was having that dream we all have, you know? The one where you're making love to a beautiful woman and all of a sudden her legs turn into scissors?
- Dr. John Becker: Oh, I'm so glad to see you!
- Bob: That's nice, John.
- Dr. John Becker: I was talking to the cigarettes.
- [he's getting a ticket for jay-walking]
- Bob: What? You want to see my "walker's license?" What are you going to do? Impound my shoes?
- [to Jake]
- Bob: You're blind! You can't even enjoy the best parts of sex! You can't see the mirror over the bed, you can't adjust the camcorder... you can't even see your friends cheering you on!
- Bob: I think we have a lot in common. I'm not wearing a bra either.
- Jake Malinak: [Looks in Linda's direction] Please tell me he's talking to you.
- Linda: You know, I don't like that kind of talk.
- [pauses]
- Linda: Well, I do but not from you!
- Dr. John Becker: ...everybody at Harvard used to stand in line for days to get into one of his classes
- Bob: Who said Harvard students don't know how to party?
- Linda: Hey, if you really have no place to live you can stay with me.
- Bob: Excuse me?
- Linda: I have plenty of room at my place.
- Margaret: Excuse me!
- Linda: Stay as long as you like.
- Bob: Wow, thanks! Look we'll iron out the details later, but first Bob's gotta go to the can.
- [grabs a magazine and begins to walk into the restroom]
- Linda: Um, that's a ladies room.
- Bob: Not for the next 20 minutes!
- Margaret: Linda, I know you have a big heart but are you sure this is a good idea?
- Linda: You're the one who's always telling me to help the needy.
- Margaret: Yes, but...
- Linda: [interrupts] And isn't Bob needy?
- Margaret: Oh yes, but...
- Linda: [interrupts] And isn't that what Christianity is all about?
- Margaret: [pauses] Christ never met Bob.
- Bob: I thought a man's home was supposed to be his castle.
- Jake Malinak: What castle? You lived in your mother's rest home!