Escape from Galaxy 3

"Star Crash 2" is one of the most hilarious trash flicks I've ever seen. Even the evil tyrant wears a colorful costume with lightnings painted on the legs (instead of black like a proper tyrant), because he knows it's all just fun. The first ten minutes with the epic space battle are looking like a party for New Year's Eve. The hero says: "We have to use plan Y" which basically means "run and hide", I guess. During their escape, they discover the planet Earth which is full of strange things ("Water? Don't touch it, it could be dangerous") and very stupid inhabitants who can't decide whether to love the visitors or hate them. After the first 10 minutes it becomes less spectacular; too much running around in the forest of Earth. But it was ridiculous enough to be of one of those flicks which are so terribly bad you can actually enjoy them.

In the early 1980s, i.e. after the huge success of "Star Wars", many producers thought the public would love anything (anything!) with space-ships in it. Otherwise you can't explain movies such as "Galaxina", "Galaxy" (aka "Galaxy Destroyer") or said "Star Crash 2". Director Ben Norman is Adalberto Albertini who also shot "Black Emanuelle" (as Albert Thomas).

OK the aliens themselves didn't disco but their outfits looked as if they belonged in a sci-fi disco-tech and some of the earthlings wearing peplum outfits danced a tribal disco complete with disco music! Yes this film is laughable, awful, yet entertaining in very weird way. OH and how can you not like Lord Glitterbeard! That was too funny.

Basically, Lord Glitterbeard (or what's his name) is out to get the 2 aliens. The 2 aliens land on earth to hide from him but learn love from some peplum wearing earthlings who's leader claims that they are the last of their kind. The two aliens end up falling in-love and they don't care that they will no longer be immortal because they will know the joys of life and love plus they can catch virus, disease and such - they feel that love is worth the risk.

Terrible movie but kinda fun to watch in an odd way.

4/10

ESCAPE FROM GALAXY 3 is yet another uproarious STAR WARS clone from Italy. With its disco-fueled sensibilities and ultra-fab costumes, this is why God created cinema!

It seems that intergalactic meanie, Oraclon (Don Powell) is up to no good, causing havoc and astonishingly bad "special" effects! Now, only one explosion after another can possibly stop him!

Cue the continual, generic disco music.

The wonderful thing about these epics is that they don't have to make any sense. At all. Just watching Oraclon in his flower-like, aqua / pink outfit and glitter-beard is enough to satisfy any fan of these films.

Enter Belle Star (Sherry Buchanan) in her dancing queen pantsuit, complete with a missing pant leg! As a bonus, her suit is also missing one upper side, compensated by a strategically-placed breast star!

This movie even has a Marjoe Gortner lookalike, wearing the latest in spandex ballet uniforms! Annnd, don't forget the entire civilization of men in miniskirts!

This is entertainment sent straight from the gods!

The quotable lines of dreadful dialogue are nonstop! The soft-soft core "love" scenes are painful! The endless dancing will twirl your brain in your skull!

WARNING: If you are sickened by the sight of pasty man-legs, stay away! This will only be traumatic for you!...

It's kind of a Sci-Fi that bogs down and never really recovers. Sherry Buchanan as Belle Star the Princess looks like she is ready to line up for the 800 meters in the Olympics. She is beautiful and in great shape while her leading man boyfriend Lithan played by Fausto Di Bella looks like a reserve forward on a "B" league soccer team. Fausto is not leading man material in any universe. The evil Oraclon, played with zeal by Don Powell, first blows up Bells Father the King, which has no effect on Belle strangely, and sets out to run Belle and Fausto down in his fast spaceship . He finally catches up to them on earth where they have passed the time by watching stupid dance routines and learning how to "get it on" from the brain dead earthlings. The movie continues to just keeps getting worse from there. Watching skinny Fausto play soccer would have been better then this movie, and I hate soccer.

Star Wars certainly has a lot to answer for. Its massive success perhaps unsurprisingly led to the Italians producing their own sci-fi adventures. Except, of course, they made them very cheaply and the results look absolutely ridiculous now and I daresay they didn't appear all that impressive back in the day either. Escape from Galaxy 3 is a pretty good example of this type of thing. It's a committedly ridiculous film from start to finish. It tells the story of a couple of aliens on the run from an evil tyrant who wind up landing on Earth and learning about love and sex in the process.

This one starts out with great potential, with a first half hour ram-packed with sci-fi idiocy of the most promising kind. We have a kindly space ruler who sports a crown and his evil nemesis who wears an elaborate costume and has a glittery beard; there are a couple of male/female heroes who have laser rings and supersonic powers, the male of which sports a bubble perm; we have space battles and intergalactic chases; and all of this is scored to an insistent disco soundtrack. All of this bodes well and it still seems like it's going in a good direction when our heroes land on Earth of the future, where the population has evolved into what looks like extras from the Buck Rogers TV show. But unfortunately, all the good work is soon to be undone when events here pan out in a most tedious of fashions. For what seems like an eternity, we witness our alien beings learn about love. This entails all manner of tiresome scenes and an alarming abundance of abysmal humour. It also ensures that there is nudity in what otherwise would be a movie for children. Towards the end the evil tyrant returns and things do pick up a bit but the damage has really been done unfortunately and the over-riding feeling is of a missed opportunity at an entertaining cheese-fest.