Vampire on Bikini Beach

Group of super models mixing business with pleasure on a tropical island fall prey to vampires who stalk and kill the models in between hot photo shoots. A " USA Up All Night" favorite, this so called vampire movie is just really an excuse to showcase beautiful women in certain state of undress. It is rather cheap looking and this production leaves much to be desired, but there is a good amount of T & A which should keep you more then entertained.

Rated R; Violence, Nudity, Sexual Situations, and Profanity.

I totally agree with another reviewer that said this a fun, yet sad watch, for the nostalgia alone. Why sad? Because I was a teenager in the '80's, and we had lives, like the kids in this movie. Kids worked to get cars, or worked on cars, had friends who were in bands (I'm remembering you, 'Obscene Jester') and had a fun and satisfying existence, WITH NO PARENTS ANYWHERE. We were out every night, having fun, solving our own problems, and living lives, instead of fake posting the lives we wished we had. We also had music, decent TV, hanging out, and even falling in love (like the two new lovers in this movie), instead of PornHub. Kids also had enough internal fortitude to solve their own problems, like ya know, vampires. That's why this movie doesn't suck (pun intended). And for those of you that think '80's fashion is stupid, I'll say, at least we took time to care about our appearance, and had a STYLE. That ended with the '90's. Now everyone's a fat slob, who thinks it's ok to be George Costanza, and go out in sweat pants. We had a lot of art in our lives back then, look at all the art in this movie, the outfits, the music, the car, the bar decorations, even the graffiti is cool. So I don't hate on the haters of this movie, instead I feel horribly sad for them. They don't even realize, they missed the party...

This movie not only looks dated, but it actually looks older than 1988 considering Star Wars was made a decade earlier back in late 70s. And the beach sequences are far and too few in between with most of the action happening in clubs, restaurants, clothing stores, and dark hallways. It is easy to see why these kids are frustrated since they are left with the lame music to listen to in an era rich in music legends. This movie would have been better titled "Beach kids go to Halloween."

First off, I don't know what film "Brandon Sites" is talking about, but it's not this one because there's no supermodel T&A or even regular gal T&A (ok, maybe one brief "A" shot) anywhere to be found in this movie...that would at least make this somewhat redeemable.

Instead, this is a done on the cheap effort, with lots of master-shots and actors who were probably attending those kind of acting classes that met in vacant storefronts at strip-malls. The film tries to be a slightly-comedic horror beach-blanket-teen flick, but managing to blend all those genres' together successfully is far beyond the talents on display here. This particular kind of comedy melding teen humor and horror wouldn't be perfected and come to fruition for another decade or so, until Buffy The Vampire Slayer (the TV series) finally figured out how to make it work without causing unintended laughter and cringe-worthiness.

About the only positive thing I can say about this is it does have a few nice beach scenes, if that's what you're looking for. Also, it has some really atrocious 80's pastel clothing and big hairstyles on display, so that's worth a few guffaws right there. But if it's horror, comedy, or anything else (like decent T&A) you're after, you'll be sorely disappointed. I usually say any film is deserving of a release on DVD, but in this case I'll make an exception and say don't waste a disc on this.

Unbelievably bad beyond comprehension. Plus the movie is infested by weird and obnoxious young people from the 1980s with their stupid hair and clothes. I was blown away by the stupid plot, script, acting, and even sound effects. In one scene, a collapsing building sounds exactly like a person with long, drawn out flatulence, and there are birds chirping nonstop at night for no apparent reason. Quite possibly the worst movie I have ever seen except for "Us" (2019).