Tony Shalhoub credited as playing...
Fred Kwan
- Sir Alexander Dane: Could they be the miners?
- Fred Kwan: Sure, they're like three years old.
- Sir Alexander Dane: MINERS, not MINORS.
- Fred Kwan: You lost me.
- Sir Alexander Dane: I played Richard III.
- Fred Kwan: Five curtain calls...
- Sir Alexander Dane: There were five curtain calls. I was an actor once, damn it. Now look at me. Look at me! I won't go out there and say that stupid line one more time.
- Guy Fleegman: HEY! Don't open that! It's an alien planet! Is there air? You don't know!
- [Guy holds his breath. Kwan sniffs the air and shrugs]
- Fred Kwan: Seems okay.
- Guy Fleegman: I'm just a glorified extra, Fred. I'm a dead man anyway. If I'm gonna die, I'd rather go out a hero than a coward.
- Fred Kwan: Guy, Guy, maybe you're the plucky comic relief. You ever think about that?
- Guy Fleegman: Plucky?
- Gwen DeMarco: Fred, you had a part people loved. I mean, my TV Guide interview was six paragraphs about my BOOBS and how they fit into my suit. No one bothered to ask me what I do on the show.
- Fred Kwan: You were... the umm, wait a minute, I'll think of it...
- Gwen DeMarco: I repeated the computer, Fred.
- Fred Kwan: Hey guys, I just wanted you to know that, the reactors won't take it; the ship is breaking apart and all that... Just FYI.
- [after blowing two of Sarris' men out the airlock]
- Fred Kwan: Sorry, I was - door was a little sticky. Did you see that? I'll get one of my boys up here with a can of WD-40.
- Fred Kwan: Hey, Commander. Listen, we found some beryllium on a nearby planet. And we might be able to get there if we reconfigure the solar matrix in parallel for endothermic propulsion. What'd'ya think?
- Jason Nesmith: We'll do that!
- Guy Fleegman: All right!
- Fred Kwan: [to his engineering team] That's right again. That's... come on, group hug.
- [first lines]
- Laredo: Exiting the time knot now, Sir.
- Tech Sgt. Chen: We're alive.
- Laredo: We made it, Commander. We made it.
- Dr. Lazarus: By Grabthar's hammer, we live to tell the tale.
- Voice of Computer: Systems registering functional.
- Lt. Tawny Madison: All systems are working, Commander.
- Commander Peter Quincy Taggart: I don't like it. It was too easy.
- Laredo: Wait. Oh, no! They're everywhere. There are time knots opening everywhere.
- Lt. Tawny Madison: A trap!
- Dr. Lazarus: We're surrounded, Commander.
- [crew screaming as the ship is hit]
- Tech Sgt. Chen: It's a core meltdown, sir. It can't be stopped.
- Dr. Lazarus: Surrender may be our only option.
- Commander Peter Quincy Taggart: No! Never give up, never surrender.
- Laredo: Your orders, sir?
- [pause]
- Laredo: Sir, your orders?
- Commander Peter Quincy Taggart: Activate the Omega 13.
- [?to be continued? appears on the screen]
- Fred Kwan: Sorry, the door was a little sticky. Did you see that. I'll get one of my boys up here with a can of WD-40.
- Fred Kwan: [Trying to work the matter-transmitter] So what do we test it on?
- Tommy Webber: [Sees Taggart, on the monitor, grappling with Grignak on the Berillium-Sphere planet] How about that Pig-Lizard?