William Shatner credited as playing...
Mayor Phlegmming
- Reporter: What do you have to say to all the hair follicles recently laid off form the scalp?
- Mayor Phlegming: There will be plenty of new jobs for everyone on the back.
- Mayor Phlegming: Good evening, citizens of Frank. In the past few weeks of the campaign, my opponent has thrown around a lot of fancy words to try to confuse the issues. Words like "exercise," "low-fat," and "diet" - words designed to scare us into changing what has worked for so many years. Well, I say let's stay the course. Remember, a fat Frank is a happy Frank.
- Leah: Mayor, something freaky is going on with the weather.
- Mayor Phlegming: We're probably just drinking some hot coffee.
- Leah: Sir, look at the maps. What if Jones is right?
- Mayor Phlegming: Jones? Ha ha ha! Funny, funny.
- Leah: You care more about your stupid re-election than you care about all our lives. Something is going on, and I'm going to the hypothalamus to check it out.
- Mayor Phlegming: Hypowhothewhatisit? Leah, wait! Who's gonna answer the phones?
- Mayor Phlegming: Son, do me a favor and read what it says on your arm.
- Drix: 'For the temporary relief of symptoms associated with... '
- Mayor Phlegming: Exactly! Temporary. You're nothing but a wannabe, a placebo, a generic brand. Marked-down, over-the-counter, useless Tic-Tac! NOW, GET OUT OF MY BODY!
- Mayor Phlegming: You keep those ideas inside that mushy little head of yours, or you'll find yourself in our next nosebleed.
- Police Chief: Jones, in my office!
- Osmosis Jones: Hey, hey! Who died? Other than Thrax, that is.
- [turns to Leah]
- Osmosis Jones: Brandy, I mean Leah, what are you doing here?
- Mayor Phlegming: You really did it now, Jones.
- Osmosis Jones: Mr. Mayor! I didn't see you back there!
- Mayor Phlegming: Disregarding orders, destruction of public fresh, popping a pimple without a permit! What the heck were you doing there?
- Osmosis Jones: What was I doing? I was promoting good health, sir!
- Mayor Phlegming: Oh, is that what you call it.
- Drix: Sir, he was a lethal virus, if we hadn't stop him.
- Osmosis Jones: We'd be fried eggs off of Frank's butt!
- Mayor Phlegming: Watch your mouth, kid, talk like that could cause a panic!
- Osmosis Jones: At least, that would start people thinking about what's going on in this body, instead of thinking about some stupid trip!
- Drix: Okay, Jones. You want us to start thinking? Well, here's a thought: YOU'RE FIRED!
- [Osmosis Jones began to shocked]
- Drix: Uh, sir.
- Leah: Mr. Mayor.
- Mayor Phlegming: I'll need your badge, mister.
- Osmosis Jones: Figures... I finally do something for Frank and I get fired.
- [puts the badges on the table. Osmosis glares at Leah and leaves]
- Leah: Osmosis.
- Drix: Please, without Jones, Frank could have been a mortal danger.
- Mayor Phlegming: Ohh, mortal danger, mmm. You'd love to prove that, wouldn't you, Drixenol? Get your name written up in the New England journal of medicine. Son, do me a favor and read what it says on your arm.
- Drix: [sees that on his arm] For the temporary relief of symptoms associated with...
- Mayor Phlegming: Exactly. Temporary. You're nothing but a wannabe, a placebo, a generic brand, marked down over the counter useless tic-tac!
- [Drix gasps, shocked in horror]
- Mayor Phlegming: Now, get out of my BODY!