Chris Rock credited as playing...
Osmosis Jones
- Leah: Jones, what in the world makes you think I would ever go out with you?
- Osmosis: What you talking about? I'm a legend, girl! The chicks line up to divide with me!
- Leah: Oh really? 'Cause to me you look like the kind of cell who mostly divides with himself.
- Osmosis: Whoa! Who turned off the heat? Somebody pay the bill? It's cold in here.
- Latino Germ: La Muerte, man! Esta aqui! He's gonna kill us dead, hombre!
- Osmosis: No, no. Talk English, man. We ain't on Telemundo here.
- Latino Germ: La Muerte Roja! He's coming, man! I saw him!
- Osmosis: We were so poor, we lived off peanut butter and cellulite sandwiches! You ever try to blow-dry your hair with a fart?
- Drix: OK, I get it. You were poor.
- Osmosis: You bet I was! You ever try to make a snowman out of toilet paper cling-ons? Now that's poor!
- Drix: OK, please, you're going to make me vomit!
- Osmosis: Vomit? We couldn't afford no vomit; that's for rich folk.
- Drix: Excuse me while I wipe my eyes.
- Osmosis: Oh, you wanna talk about wiping?
- Drix: NO!
- Drix: Special Agent Drixobenzometaphedrimine... Drixenol! The brand that eases your coughs and sneezes. Warning - do not exceed recommended dosage. If symptoms persist, consult a physician. May cause drowsiness. Do not attempt to operate heavy machinery. Pregnant women should not handle broken tablets.
- Osmosis: Wow! I'm feeling better already.
- Osmosis: Did you know my great-great-grandpappy fought the measles? Yup, there's been a Jones on the force ever since my ancestors came over on the umbilical cord.
- Osmosis: [looking at a centerfold in DNA Monthly] Nice genes. You got the chromosomes in all the right places.
- Librarian: Brain Memory Library. Can I help you?
- Osmosis: You got any information about something called "El Morry Roho"?
- Librarian: Stand by. I'll check, but we're really all about sports statistics here.