Robert Smigel credited as playing...
- Mr. Beefy: Put it in your mouth. Now move your teeth up and down. Up and down. Good, numb-nuts. Now you gotta swallow it. Just tilt your head back and let the meat slide down your throat hole. Easy, don't choke.
- Nicky: [Nicky swallows the chicken tender] Popeye's chicken is fucking awesome!
- Mr. Beefy: Uh-huh. Now, eat up. You're gonna need your energy.
- Nicky: I got energy up the yin-yang! Let's go save dad! Adrian! Cassius!
- [he gets hit by a bus]
- Mr. Beefy: Oh, boy.
- Mr. Beefy: [shoots an arrow out of his penis and hits Adrian] Now that hurt the both of us.
- Nicky: That's not me! That's that cockroach Tony Montana!
- Mr. Beefy: He superimposed your head into Scarface.
- Todd: Which is probably DePalma's third best film.
- Todd: You know, this cake tastes kind of funny.
- John: Oh yeah, I dumped a fat sack of reefer into the mix. I thought I'd spice up the batch.
- Mr. Beefy: Really?
- Nicky: What's reefer?
- Mr. Beefy: About five hundred bucks an ounce.
- Nicky: [after being told he needs to die] I'll just go to Heaven!
- Mr. Beefy: Not if you do something bad right before you die!
- Townie: Hey, Nicky. Cover Winkler in bees! You can do it!
- Nicky: [sees Winkler covered with bee stings] Sorry, Henry!
- Mr. Beefy: That'S your big transformation? You turned a coke into a pepsi?
- Mr. Beefy: Look, it's okay for me to shit in the street, but you gotta use a toilet.
- Nicky: Okay.
- Mr. Beefy: Yeah I had a weak back... about a week back! Ahahahaha!
- Nicky: [Deleted scene; Nicky sees Beefy defecate] Man, that was intense! And it happens every day?
- Mr. Beefy: Look, it's okay for me to shit in the street, but you gotta use a toilet.
- Nicky: Yeah? Well, just point me in the right direction next time.
- Mr. Beefy: Come on. There's like ten million people in this city and the clock is ticking.
- Nicky: Well, let's rock and roll, then!
- Nicky: [Deleted scene; Nicky is seen telling an officer to get in the flask] Adrian, is that you? Get in the flask!
- Beating Cop: Beat it.
- Nicky: Uh-huh.
- [He leaves before returning]
- Nicky: Cassius, come on. What's going on?
- Beating Cop: I said, beat it!
- Nicky: Alright.
- [He leaves again before returning]
- Nicky: That's it. Just so you...
- [He gets repeatedly beaten by the officer]
- Nicky: What the hell's your problem?
- [He gets beaten again]
- Mr. Beefy: This may take a while.
- Mr. Beefy: Say Mr. Beefy! Say it! Say it!
- Female Dog: [in an exhausted tone] Mr. Beefy.
- Mr. Beefy: And... I love you!
- Mr. Beefy: [Alternate scene] Remember, it's not the size of the boat. It's the motion in the ocean.
- Female Dog: [in an exhausted tone] Just finish.
- Mr. Beefy: And... we're done.
- Mr. Beefy: Go get a soda out of the fridge.
- Nicky: But those are my roommate's sodas.
- Mr. Beefy: [mocking Nicky sarcastically] "But those are my roommate's sodas.." Does that sound like a statement the son of the devil would make?
- Todd: You know, I was in love once, but she said I wasn't financially reliable and she needed that.
- John: Now by "she" do you mean "he"?
- Todd: No.
- Mr. Beefy: [laughing] Busted!
