Jack Haley credited as playing...
Elmer Wagonbottom
- Doctor: Are you deaf?
- Elmer Wagonbottom: [faking deafness] Well, I will be on my next birthday.
- Doctor: You'll be what on your next birthday?
- Elmer Wagonbottom: Uh, five foot ten and a half. That's due to my flat feet.
- Doctor: Come here! Is your deafness hereditary?
- Elmer Wagonbottom: No, we have, uh, three girls and a boy.
- [last lines]
- Elmer Wagonbottom: From now on, keep your hands off of things that don't belong to you. It don't pay! Always remember that honesty is the best... uh, p-... is the best... It don't pay. You get me?
- Wilbur the Kleptomaniac: Elmer, you're right in everything you say. Absolutely right. But do you know, I thought the world of that watch.
- Elmer Wagonbottom: Well, why didn't you say? Here!
- [he pulls the captain's watch from his pocket and gives it to Wilbur]
- Wilbur the Kleptomaniac: Hey, Elmer - if he's from the telephone company, we shouldn't have cut his hair off!
- Elmer Wagonbottom: Hey - we've used telephones, haven't we? They cut *us* off - we're even!