Carnage

I should start by saying that "Carnage" was my introduction into Andy Milligan films. Not only are his films just terrible, but they are actually a lot of fun to watch, if you can get yourself prepared for them. "Carnage' is definitely no different. With some of the worst acting and special effects ever, I found quite a lot to like about this grade "Z" film.

The story starts with a couple living in a somewhat mansion. Something terrible has happened as they both kill each other in a loving? embrace. A year passes and the house is sold to a newly wed couple. Instantly, things aren't how they should be as objects move by themselves. Things start out on the subtle side but then get worse as people start dying. Some in rather gruesome form.

This is probably the worst haunted house movie ever made. The objects that move around are obviously used by strings and the sort. But that isn't what makes the special effects so bad. There is a few scenes that are in question here. Example: two burglars brake into the basement of the house in the middle of the night. When weird things start happening, one of the burglars starts climbing out of a window. An axe floats towards his hand and hits him with just the handle. Magically, his hand falls off in a bloody mess. Also, a scene where a priest is running out of the house and a butcher knife hits him in the shoulder, the next scene the butcher knife is in his head. This is the type of silliness you see in the movie.

The acting is pretty boring. I don't know if this is the actors fault as they weren't given much to work with and let's face it, Andy Milligan is just not a good director. Anyone acting under his directing is not going to exactly shine. It is this problem that makes the movie mostly slow and uninteresting if you aren't ready for it.

Altogether, this was a bad movie. It doesn't mean it wasn't fun, it was just bad. It is the type of film you get some friends together with and watch to crack jokes with. 6/10

My review was written in April 1986 after watching the movie on Media Home Entertainment video cassette.

"Carnage" is an old-hat, poorly made horror picture, shot in New York in 1983 under the title "Hell House". Filmmaker Andy Milligan, whose heyday was about 15 years earlier with pics like "The Ghastly Ones", delivers pure corn here and the feature went directly to home video without a domestic theatrical release.

Leslie Den Dooven and Michael Chiodo portray newlyweds Carol and Jonathan who move into a bargain house (a la "The Money Pit") where three years earlier a groom killed his bride and then committed suicide. Of course the site is haunted by that couple and many visitors are killed in gory fashion while inanimate objects move around amid other supernatural happenings.

For unexplained reasons, Carol and Jonathan love the house and won't leave no matter what mayhem occurs. Not surprisingly, they also become eternal residents. Picture is padded with inconsequential footage and a boring subplot involving a pregnant friend of theirs, Ann (Chris Baker) whose marriage is on the rocks.

Gore is exaggerated and phony, while special effects shots are amateurish. Milligan's use of a background score made up of library music makes the film seem at least 20 years older than its copyright date.

"A newlywed couple moves into their new home and are ready to settle into their new life together. After settling in, the couple begins experiencing some strange occurrences in the home, and discovers, to their horror, the truth behind them. It seems the former owners of the home were a newlywed couple that committed suicide years before, and are now haunting the place," according to the DVD sleeve's synopsis. That the other couple committed suicide in the house is certainly no surprise. In fact, there is no suspense to speak of, in "Carnage". The film is simply a series of gory deaths, around the house… while a dog barks, indecently, outside… Not only does the couple NOT leave the haunted house, they invite other couples to join in the fun. Do not watch this movie without having other things around, to help pass the time.

* Carnage (1984) Andy Milligan ~ Leslie Den Dooven, Michael Chiodo, Deeann Veeder, John Garitt

I love Carnage. When I picked it up at a flea market I was a bit leery of it because the box touted itself as a horror/comedy. It couldn't be further from the truth...it's a quite serious horror film, the only thing that will induce chuckles is the outlandishly silly special effects (so silly, in fact, it looks almost as if it were made to look cheap on purpose). Bad acting, dorky-looking ghosts, possessed household appliances, skitzophenic mother-in-laws and lotsa lotsa blood n' guts equals one hell of a good B-movie session. The ending reminded me of the one from VIDEODROME somehow. No idea why, though.

Very hard to find, but worth every second of the search for addicts of horrible cinema such as myself.

-No Nukes, the Satanic Pikachu Pika pikaaaaa pika pi chipa pikaCHUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!! (stay cool, surf well, watch lots! pikaCHUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!)

Carnage (1984)

** (out of 4)

Carol (Leslie Den Dooven) and Jonathan (Michael Chiodo) are a newly married couple who move into their dream home but they have no idea what horrors await them. What they don't know is that a previous newlywed couple did a murder/suicide inside the home and their ghosts are still there.

Andy Milligan returned to the director's chair after a six year hiatus and delivered what is basically a rip-off on THE AMITYVILLE HORROR. Milligan has a small cult following but there's an even bigger group that downright hates his movies. I must admit that while this here didn't contain a single original moment it was at least somewhat well-made and there's no question that Milligan throws in enough curve balls to make sure he holds your interest.

The best thing going for the film is that Milligan has some rather good (considering their budget) special effects and some really wacky death scenes. There are all sorts of objects that float around and it's easy to see how these effects were done but at the same time you have to somewhat smile at the attempt and delivery. The highlight is a scene where an axe floats up to a woman and chops her head off (a mannequin obviously used) as well as another attack dealing with scissors and some of the worst looking fake guts that you're ever going to see.

The film actually looks professionally shot, which isn't something you could say for most of Milligan's work. The cinematography was actually good and I'd argue that it has a pretty good flaw, although there's no question that at times the low-budget nature shows its head. Still, the performances are better than you normally get in this type of film and Milligan, obviously knowing about the slasher craze, throws in some gory death scenes. CARNAGE isn't a great movie or even a good one but it's certainly much better than a lot of the films from this era.