The Simian Line

THE SIMIAN LINE kinda intrigued me for a while. It has a cast full of known names and yet so few reviews, so for me it could have been some sort of must-see. Well, I was wrong and after I finished it I could see why it has been forgotten.

It begins during an Halloween party thrown by Katherine (Lynn Redgrave) when a psychic named Arnita (Tyne Daly) predicts that one of the couples at the party will break up by the end of the year, but nobody believes her. Arnita doesn't tell her that she can see a fourth couple, the ghosts of Mae and Edward (the late William Hurt). Days pass and Katherine becomes jealous of her lover's flirting with gorgeous neighbour Sandra (Cindy Crawford), and the lives of the other two couples are shown but at this point, who cares?

In the beginning it looked ok, but as it progressed it took a detour to Stupidville and never went back. The acting was lazy, and only William Hurt and Eric Stoltz looked like they were trying, but all the others? They just went through the motions. Most of the characters were bland or annoying, and this is a major strike for any movie (not just this). The plot looked boring and I am amazed I didn't feel asleep during the viewing.

Not a really bad movie but something close thanks to sloppy direction, lazy editing and hard to believe situations. Only of interest if you love to see beloved actors in low points of their careers.

THE SIMIAN LINE (2000) ** Lynn Redgrave, Cindy Crawford, Harry Connick Jr., Tyne Daly, William Hurt, Samantha Mathis, Jamey Sheridan, Eric Stoltz. Unusual romantic comedy with a twist: set in present day Weehawken, NJ three couples undergo some serious navel gazing after a kooky medium foretells their future that one pair will ultimately break up thanks to some meddling yet friendly ghosts with mixed results. At its heart is an improvisitory feel throughout and if the plotting seems half-baked consider filmmaker Linda Yellen's 12 day shooting schedule (!) on location.

She gets the most for her dollar in her unlikely cast who all seem to be in their own little movie.

This film is a credit to writer/director Linda Yellen's hard work. The story was unique and heartwarming and the performances were great! Tyne Daly's character was so great and unexpected, Redgrave was unbelievable, as always, and who knew Cindy Crawford and Harry Connick were such great actors. I would recommend this movie to anyone!

It's not surprising that my expectations were a bit inflated with such a terrific cast of actors assembled, regardless of the story. I would say that the movie has some good moments, but overall, missed an opportunity and really should have been much better. There's some interesting themes introduced in the FIVE story lines/relationships that go mostly unexplored, and things are tied up quite neatly and abruptly at the end, which I found unsatisfying and frustrating. This film isn't a waste of time, but is likely to be enjoyed only if you approach it as the light fairytale that it is, and don't expect anything more.

"The Simian Line" was filmed in 1999 and spent two years on the shelf before getting a limited American commercial release; here in Britain it bypassed cinemas completely and premiered, appropriately enough, on the Sky Premier cable channel (on the Tuesday of the week it opened in New York and Los Angeles, in fact). In all cases it's not hard to see why, and not just because like the opening credits of "The Sopranos," the presence of the World Trade Center here has a definite resonance in these post-September 11 days.

Director/co-writer Linda Yellen shot the movie on a low budget and in very little time, and unfortunately it shows all the way through; technical blotches aside, the would-be whimsical and romantic story of four couples told by a psychic that one of them will be history at midnight on New Year's Eve intertwines its various storylines (all too insubstantial for their own good) far less effectively than your average episode of "The Love Boat," with scenes ending abruptly, some poor dialogue and situations, and no narrative flow to speak of. Throw in excessive use of pointless voiceovers and the inexplicable presence of a pair of ghosts (William Hurt and Samantha Mathis) and it should be a disaster... but it's just a mixed bag instead.

The film has a number of good points; several scenes do hit home, although a bit less time devoted to Lynn Redgrave worrying about losing her devoted younger lover Harry Connick Jr and a bit more development of the other strands would have given the movie more balance. But it's biggest plus is its ensemble cast, most of whom play a big part in making this slight tale watchable. Only one of the team - apart from an irritatingly accented Hurt - lets the side down; it's not who you think it is, either. Instead it's Tyne Daly's embarrassing psychic, about whom the less said the better.

This is, on the other hand, a good deal for Redgrave, for Connick, for Monica Keena, for Jamey Sheridan... and especially for Cindy Crawford, who although stuck in the least dramatic plotline does deliver a good, genuine performance as Sheridan's equally business-minded but not quite as relentlessly driven wife. This is to her what "Coming to America" and "The Nutty Professor" were to Eddie Murphy - the film may not be all that good, but the work is another matter entirely. (Note from one of Cindy's male fans to the rest of them: Watch for the bathing scene.) Time to give her a break for "Fair Game," methinks. As for Yellen, better luck next time.