The Cuckoo Patrol

I watch all genre of films, even if I see bad reviews. I like to make my own mind up. But this film is nothing but an absolute disaster and I find it very embarrassing to say I'm British. Never been a big Kenneth Connor fan and this has done him no favours at all. His acting, if you can call it that, is abysmal and cringe worthy. There are a few well known faces which must have felt very embarrassed to have their name associated with this drivel. Freddie and the Dreamers where more like a nightmare. This so far is the worst film I have ever seen and likely to be the only one as it will certainly take some beating. Avoid please....I have warned you!!

This must surely be a candidate for the worst film ever : certainly the worst British film, the worst sixties film, and the most unfunny 'comedy'. Freddie and the Dreamers were never big enough stars to carry a film and in any case were by 1967 when the film appeared, already past their use by date. There isn't a single decent 'gag' in the whole sorry mess, the 'acting' is uniformly dire and the likes of John le Mesurier must surely have been embarrassed to be associated with it. If I say that Kenneth Connor (of 'Carry On' fame) was taking a step DOWN in terms of quality and subtlety to appear in this appalling drivel, it might convey how truly awful it is. It's a mystery how it even got made, let alone released. Excruciatingly poor.

A star vehicle for Freddie Garrity - of FREDDIE AND THE DREAMERS fame - THE CUCKOO PATROL is an entirely dated and lacklustre comedy centred around a Scout troop and the misadventures they get themselves into. This really is poverty row stuff, with awfully lame jokes and the sight of Garrity mugging and gurning towards the camera all the while. You wonder how on earth a production like this got made or who they were aiming at given the star's five minutes of fame had long since passed.

Still, for fans of cult and/or forgotten films, THE CUCKOO PATROL holds some fun. Kenneth Connor and John Le Mesurier contribute a nice little double act as the thoroughly exasperated scouting superiors and some of the sub-plots are quite fun, like when the Scouts unwittingly aid a criminal gang with their attempt at safecracking. But let's be fair, the quality of the writing is very poor here, and the film as a whole feels like something that came out of the 1930s rather than the late '60s. Victor Maddern gives the best performance as the gang boss.

I actually felt a bit sorry for the "Freddie and the Dreamers" guys here as they play a troop of aged boy-scouts who find themselves embroiled with some petty crooks. Along the way, they have some "carry-on" style escapades that allow some surprising names - who should have known better - to pop up: John le Mesurier, Victor Maddern and Basil Dignam to name but three. I suppose the only one who emerges with anything akin to credibility is the sparsely used Kenneth Connor who is very much in character as their hapless scout leader. It's got plenty of the usual slapstick antics, and comes across much like a cheap and cheerful Norman Wisdom film, only with songs. That's the nadir just there - the title song and the few others that pepper the film are truly terrible (especially when sung in pyjamas). A fun ambush at the end raises the tempo ever so slightly, but sadly this is just a poorly conceived and executed flop of a film that can't ever have looked good - even on the storyboard/beer mat.

Frank Randle was making the same sort of nonsense - with the same director of photography - during the war; and twenty years later it's still no funnier.

More of this was shot on location than Mancunian Films' meagre budgets ever allowed, but Freddie Garrity (whose comic leaping about endeared him at the time to my grandmother and during the early seventies was still starring in the children's TV comedy series 'Little Big Time'), while making Randle seem as sophisticated as Noel Coward by comparison, completely lacks Randle's redeeming acrobatic prowess.