David Duchovny credited as playing...
J.P. Prewitt
- Derek Zoolander: But why male models?
- J.P. Prewitt: Are you serious? I just told you that a moment ago.
- J.P. Prewitt: Male models don't think for themselves.
- Derek Zoolander: That's not true!
- J.P. Prewitt: Yes it is, Derek.
- Derek Zoolander: [meekly] Okay.
- J.P. Prewitt: The truth is male models have been assassinating world leaders for over 200 years. Abe Lincoln wanted to abolish slavery, right? Well, who do you think made the silk stockings and powdered wigs worn by our early leaders?
- Derek Zoolander: Mugatu!
- J.P. Prewitt: [pauses] Slaves, Derek. So they hired John Wilkes Booth to do Mr. Lincoln in. The first model/actor! Dallas. 1963. John F. Kennedy.
- Matilda: Lee Harvey Oswald wasn't a male model.
- J.P. Prewitt: You're goddamn right he wasn't, but the two lookers who capped Kennedy from the Grassy Knoll sure as shit were!
- J.P. Prewitt: I'm a hand model, mama. A finger jockey. We think differently than the face and body boys... we're a different breed.
- J.P. Prewitt: [as Zoolander runs off, standing on the glass dome covering J.P.'s hand] You freakin' idiot!