Stockard Channing credited as playing...
Sister Husband
- Thelma 'Sister' Husband: Dear Lord, we ask that you bless this food to the nourishment of our bodies. And we ask forgiveness, Lord, for the fornication that Mr. Sprock and me committed this morning on this very table.
- Thelma 'Sister' Husband: That's what the late Brother Husband used to say...
- Novalee Nation: Brother Husband... Was he your husband?
- Thelma 'Sister' Husband: No, he was my brother.
- Thelma 'Sister' Husband: [answers the door] Yes?
- Religious Man: Ma'am, we've come here today to give the word of God to the Wal-Mart baby, and to her young unmarried mother.
- Religious Woman: We drove all the way up from Midnight, Mississippi.
- Thelma 'Sister' Husband: Well, you folks could have saved yourselves a trip because the word of God has been in this house for a very long time.
- [slams door in their faces]
- Novalee Nation: What do you think? It took me a whole month to get back to my old size.
- Thelma 'Sister' Husband: Oh, well, a little weight on a woman is no harm.
- Novalee Nation: I swear I spent more on film than I got paid.
- Thelma 'Sister' Husband: [looking at wedding pictures] What's going on here?
- Novalee Nation: Well it turns out the groom's former girlfriend was a waitress at the reception. This was right after the bride called her a cheap, big-ass tramp.
- Thelma 'Sister' Husband: Who's this on the stretcher?
- Novalee Nation: That's the waitress after the bridesmaids finished jumping up and down on her.
- Thelma 'Sister' Husband: [laughing] You think they're gonna want these pictures?
- Thelma 'Sister' Husband: I'm Sister Husband! Oh you remember me! You used to call me Telma because you couldn't say Thelma.
- [Novalee just looks at her]
- Thelma 'Sister' Husband: Can you say Thelma?
- Novalee Nation: [softly] Thelma.
- Thelma 'Sister' Husband: Home is where your history begins. Home is where they catch you when you fall.
- Thelma 'Sister' Husband: On behalf of the merchants and businessman's association of the city of Sequoia, Oklahoma I do present you with this basket of gifts and merchandise.
- Novalee Nation: [takes basket] Thank you.
- Thelma 'Sister' Husband: You've got discount coupons, matches, a map of the city, emery boards.
- [interrupts herself]
- Thelma 'Sister' Husband: Oh, oh yeah. Now you see this little appointment book? Well I ran out of these last week so I had to put two or three of my own appointments in this one. But if you're not an alcoholic you'll know those meetings aren't for you.
- Novalee Nation: No ma'am. I'm not.
- Thelma 'Sister' Husband: Good. I think that's good.