Druids

Much as I generally enjoy watching good old Mr. Lambert messing about in the usual mindless, middle-of-the-road sci-fi shenanigans that he likes to frequent, I get no satisfaction whatsoever from seeing him jump up and down violently on what's left of his career in a sick-makingly irredeemable cinematic dog such as this.

Like so many reviewers before me, I just don't know where to begin.

Let's see: a shockingly bad soundtrack, editing the likes of which I've never seen, pointless, half-finished subplots, props and costumes that look like they were bought from the joke shop down the road (well, from some comedian in the nearest Bulgarian farming village, anyway), the criminal comparison to Braveheart on the video sleeve, dialogue that makes Hellgate and Slugs sound like they were written by David Mamet, and the most Austrian Austrian they could find to star as the most Roman Roman of all time, Caesar. Worst of all, the "kill me now" plea so obvious in Mr. Lambert's eyes (when you can see them through the hair) from start through to merciful finish.

Easily the worst film I've seen for years. And in the last few years I've seen Octopus, Spiders, Spiders 2, Ripper, Bats, Turbulence 3 and Deathstalker IV. Somebody tell Christopher Lambert that it's not funny any more.

"Vercingétorix" is the worst movie I have ever seen. It's a catastrophe beyond your imagination. Christophe Lambert is ridiculous as young Vercingetorix, and as old Vercingetorix too. The dialogues are so bad even I could have done better. The costumes look like rags. The fights are boring. Some scenes are so inconsistent it's funny... Example: imagine you've been living in a forest all of your life, without seeing the world. OK. Now, you're going out of the forest (obviously not a very thick one), and what can you see? A "via romana", a roman highway. Yes. Just a couple of trees from your cave. And who's riding on it, with a couple of bodyguards and one extra-horse? Julius Caesar himself and its fierce army. And the emperor just gives you a horse, because he has an extra one. And this explains why, some time later in the movie, Christophe Lambert says, giving a horse back to a roman soldier: "I give back to Caesar what belongs to Caesar."

I'd say the following things to people who have the opportunity to see "Druids" (by the way, what druids? Those white-clad weirdos jumping around with a sword?): If you are a cinema student, you might want to see this movie just to get what you should never do. If you are interested in bad movie experiments, don't miss it either (it's a cult movie for many people for that very reason). If you're just a normal person, don't lose 3 hours of your life. The first hour is very funny but the 2 following ones are long.

Since the movie had the title "Druids," I was pleasantly surprised to find that the story was fairly historically accurate. That does not make it a good movie, though. It still pretty much stinks. Almost everyone in the technical credits had names that ended in "...ov." Were they all Russians? I thought this was a French - Canadian production.

Convoluted story line, poor to bad acting , mediocre sets, thin plot. Even Christopher Lambert (Highlander) took a long vacation form acting when he made this one. Even the music has no redeeming value. Sounds like some kid playing with a computer generation program. Rent only if it is the last one on the shelf.

I can't add a lot to the comments already made by those who gave this movie a bad review. It really is horrible. You know an adventure movie is bad when you find yourself fast-forwarding through the battle sequences.

I rented this movie without carefully reading the plot outline on the jacket. I saw the title "Druids," read that it was about Vercingetorix, and assumed that the movie was based on the so-so book by Morgan Llywelyn, which I had read. However, the movie has nothing to do with the book. The movie has nothing to do with Druids. The movie has nothing to do with anything. I'm not even sure there was a script (despite the fact that there were at least two writing credits). If there was a script, I'm not sure anyone in the movie bothered to read it.

The casting is good for a mild chuckle. I love how the young Vercingetorix, who speaks with a distinct American accent, grows up to be Christopher Lambert, who barely manages to spit out vaguely understandable English, warped by a grating French accent that could peel paint.

Bad sets, bad costumes, bad cinematography, bad casting, bad direction, bad acting, bad editing, bad research, bad music, bad hair. I would recommend this movie only for insomniacs who have already tried all the other sleep-inducing agents available on the market.

Where can Christopher Lambert go from here? "10-10-220" commercials?