Ninja the Protector

It was five years ago when I first watched a Godfrey Ho collaboration, the superb Secret Ninja, Roaring Tiger. To be fair, every movie, made by ANYONE, is in the shadows of Secret Ninja, and as such I was a little disappointed by the frequency of the quality moments in Ninaj the Protector, but that's not to say it's bad. There are absolutely amazing moments in this film, which make up for the fact that it's not chocablock with laughs.

Who wouldn't want to watch a film that in the trailer it boasts "Only a ninja can defeat a Ninja" but spaced out like all the dialogue in Godfrey Ho movies so it sounds like the voice over guy has a stammer. Classic chats amongst detectives such as "They say it was a Ninja what's a ninja?" "Nothing.... just a fairytale" Genius. In a fair and just world, Ho would have won 6 Oscars by now, but those pecks in Hollywood are obviously either racist or bribed by bigwigs such as Senor Spielbergo and James Cameron. I think it was also this movie that introduced us to David, the mild mannered brother of Bruce.

Bruce cheats on his wife with a woman, and brings this girlfriend round to his house. Then he looks confused, and almost disappointed, after looking around to find out his wife isn't home. What is going on here?? Bruce is a bit of a pecker, but David seems very down to earth. But yet, when the police describe David it is: "He's a playboy, and a trouble maker!" I would write about the plot and the storyline of this movie rather than just giving the best quotes, and pointing out bits that made us crease ourselves, but unfortunately, I don't have the foggiest what the fook is going on in this film! There are some nice instant clothes changes in this movie, and some random motorbike action. Plus Richard Harrison has a lovely 'tache, and Godfrey Ho is the master of including random soft porn scenes that have no bearing on the storyline whatsoever.

All in all, it's a good laugh, and well worth watching, especially with a group of mates when you've got some beers in. Chances are, you'll find it in a DVD bin in a pound shop, but if you tend not to frequent these outlets looking for gems such as this, keep an eye in the Works, as they often have it for 5p. No word of a lie, the Works sell DVDs with 2 movies on them for 10p!!

Ninja the Protector is yet another triumph for the 'versatile ninja master' Richard Harrison, and an astonishing masterclass in suspense and action that only Joseph Lai could serve up.

When faced with the tyranny of an evil ninja empire run by an overweight accountant, our hero resorts to the only weapon a ninja can when faced with certain death - a 500cc racing motorbike. In a tense scene suitably offset with the mellow strummings of Pink Floyd, Richard demonstrates some of his broad reportoire of jaw dropping action stunts that, quite rightly, put Jackie Chan's efforts in the shade.

A must for all Harrison fans, serious action junkees and devotees of films spliced together in an incredibly obvious way to shift a few copies in the West.

Once again 'harry' must stop the ninja empire. This time by

infiltrating a model agency with the help of one of his agents who

he doesn't share screen time with (one of the downsides to being

in a film cut together from 2 films). Harrison does rather touchingly

keep a photo of his model/ninja friend who i think is called Warren. Harrison has honed his martial arts skills to perfection for this

film and it has paid off in spades. He's great with a blowpipe and

his teleportation skills just get better and better. i only have two complaints with this film.

Firstly: It's quite hard to see Harrison in his Ninja attire due to the

fact it's camoflage material and often Harrison vanishes into the

background. Especially during scenes filmed in a park.

Secondly: I couldn't watch the end because it concentrated on

Warren's relationship with his brother David. David's not a

handsome chap and seeing him do the nasty with a random

wench made my eyes bleed.

Overall though i'd give it 9/10. It's the kind of film that makes you

want to run up a hill in your pyjamas and shout NINJA! loudly.

No matter how many ninja films one sees it always looks to me like people fighting wearing pyjamas. This is particularly true in this film where the Richard Harrison character wears a natty pair of duds that look perfect for bedtime. Which makes the ninja fights he is in look silly. When he puts on his ninja suit he also looks slimmer. At least they could have had someone similar in size to Richard Harrison. He was a big boy.

The film is a hybrid of at least two others but one never knows. It could be more. The western actors are dubbed but their lip are saying the same dialogue anyway so it becomes quite surreal. The Hong Kong actors are also dubbed but one gets used to that in martial art films anyway even though their lip movements are so different. Being a hybrid the plot wavers all over the place. When a character says, "Tiger has been killed" you think, who heck is Tiger? Is my memory going or did they ever appear? A rambling plot, tame fight scenes and plain acting are not even redeemed by a couple of sex scenes as they are just as boring as the rest of the film. Not good, not good at all.

Richard Harrison once again finds himself in heavy mascara and camouflage ninja togs whilst being edited into a completely non ninja movie here!

Yes, Godfrey Ho strikes again and this time he has spliced some rather enjoyable ninja footage into what amounts to a somewhat odd soft porn movie!

Fair enough, the movie is certainly better than many of the other atrocities that Ho has chosen as his base for these films but it must nonetheless also rank as one of the most bizarre choices of film into which to edit in a tenuous ninja plot.

Still, it's the ninja action we want to see in this, so does our man Ho deliver the goods? Well sadly, (but as per usual in these movies) there's just not enough ninja activity on offer here which proves a genuine shame as what is present is great fun, for instance the ninja motorcycle duel! Also present and correct (but not necessarily welcome) is the abrupt ending (although there is admittedly a strange and unique charm in Ho's sudden cessation of these movies - it appears to be a trademark of his!)

Is it worth watching? For Z-grade ninja movie fans (of which I am one)of course! Everyone else would be well advised to steer clear....A Godfrey Ho film to the uninitiated may prove just too much for one's cerebral health!