Transylvania Twist

This movie is so incredibly stupid, but it's still one of the most enjoyable films I have ever seen. It is one of those ridiculous movies where everything that happens is totally silly and whacked out.

The plot revolves around a guy named Dexter Ward,who works for a library and must search out the Book of Ulthar which is 200 years overdue. That concept alone pretty much tells what the rest of the movie is like. The characters are all a little odd to say the least, like Victor van Helsing, the fearless vampire hunter, played by the B-Grade actor extraordinare Ace Mask. One of the more amusing scenes features a flashback to van Helsing's youth, in which the child portraying him has a moustache and gets in trouble at school for staking one of his classmates (who just happens to be a vampire dressed in a little Dracula-type costume). I also liked the part where van Helsing is talking about a book that caused two brothers to never speak to one another again. When asked what that book was, he replied that it was either the Book of Ulthar or the latest Jackie Collins novel. Robert Vaughn is enjoyable also with his over-the-top acting that made him such a favorite with Roger Corman fans.

This movie is so much fun on so many levels. The comedy is so crazy that half the time you're laughing at the hilarious acting and dialogue and the other half of the time you're laughing at the sheer stupidity of what is supposed to be funny.

I definitely recommend this movie to fans of Roger Corman flicks and fans of the Zucker and Abrahams movies.

THIS MOVIE IS A CLASSIC!

I love this movie. I think it belongs up there with other horror parodies like "Repossessed," "Silence of the Hams" and "Dracula-Dead and Loving It." Teri Copley was a funny, beautiful and talented actress; much more than just a pretty face. It's probably the only horror parody which makes the most horror references that I've seen even if it did leave out the Wolfman, Frankenstein's monster and the Mummy. It's also filled with cameos galore such as horror mogul Forrest J. Ackerman, scream queen Brinke Stevens as a sexy vampire, Deanna Lund from "Land of the Giants" as a teacher, Jay Robinson most recently of "Sleepy Hollow" and Angus Scrimm of "Phantasm." Video babe Becky LeBeau sings the songs which Teri lip-syncs to also has a bit part. Howard Morris from the "Andy Griffith Show" is a tamed down Ernest T. Bass as he plays the father of Teri's character. Ace Mask steals most of the laughs in this but Steve Altman is more than irritating as he tries to be funny; everytime I watch this, I do his lines so that I feel I've got the role. Robert Vaughn is also woefully miscast as he tries his hand at comedy. Steve Franken is also on hand as an inept constable who wouldn't know a vampire if it was already on his neck. Otherwise, the movie is one long enjoyable laughfest. It's a shame you can't find this on video anymore.

Dexter Ward (Steve Altman) goes to his uncle Ephram's funeral- and is told about "The Book of Ulthar"- an ancient book which has the power to raise an ancient evil demon. (Uncle Ephram, it turns out, isn't really dead!) He tells Dexter that he had lent the book to a man named Marinus Orlock some years ago, and had never got it back. So, Dexter goes to Transylvania with Marinus' daughter, Marissa (Teri Copley), and a vampire hunter, Victor van Helsing (Ace Mask). They end up in a spooky castle, in which Marissa's uncle Byron Orlock, now stays. The Book of Ulthar is hidden in the castle somewhere, and Dexter must find it before Byron does.

Surprisingly, this is a very funny and entertaining movie. It even includes footage of Boris Karloff from the movie "The Terror". The music score for Transylvania Twist was composed by Chuck Cirino, and it's very good. There are also some nice songs on the soundtrack. Writer R. J. Robertson appears as "Hans Phull". Watch the end credits too.

If you liked "Hot Shots!" or "The Naked Gun" or similar films, you'll like this one.

This film is a huge valentine (in a nice, blood-red heart) for fans of 80's horror movies. The pre-credits sequence alone is great if you've seen (and enjoyed) Friday the 13th, A Nightmare on Elm Street, and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The rest of the movie is wonderful too, the perfect film for those of us who have, alas, seen way too many horror movies and still think the world ought to work that way. Teri Copley and Monique Gabrielle are gorgeous, sexy and funny, and Angus Scrimm, "Ace Mask" (uh, okay, Mr. Mask) and Robert Vaughn acquit themselves well with the material. Male lead Steve Altman doesn't make himself too tiresome, which is better than I expected, and there's a nice out-take from the late great Boris Karloff. The plot? It's all over the place, yet familiar at the same time, and makes all the right moves. See it if you love horror movies, and if you don't love horror movies...well, what are you doing here anyway?

This is a horror comedy, and those are very tricky to pull off. How many absolutely great movies can you think of that combine those two genres? Two off the top of my head are Young Frankenstein and Abbott & Costello meet Frankenstein. But there are also the Scary Movie movies (the first two aren't at all, the rest... less said the better), Dracula Dead & Loving It (which, by the way, there's a gag involving a staking of a vampire in this that, I had to wonder, later inspired Brooks who went for a bloodier and possibly funnier scene in an otherwise lame spoof), Repossessed, um... maybe Student Bodies is alright(?) Point is, it's not the genre that people flock to necessarily and find the gold-mine all the time. Which brings us to Transylvania Twist, a Roger Corman produced movie via Concorde (and horror fans can *tell*, I'll get to that in a moment), and it's not all that bad! Faint praise, perhaps, but there are some parts in this where you can tell the filmmakers are trying and it's not all for not.

It's not that it's all gravy; it's one of those comedies where the actors are (mostly) playing it straight, and that's the way to go about it if you have to ala the classic example of Airplane! The exception to this is Steve Altman as (Lovecraft inspired name) Dexter, who is being goofy as all hell (I thought of him like he was a lessor stand-up comic from that boom of the 80's, Carson and Elvis imitations and all), and that would be fine if he were a little more talented. Sadly he isn't, but that's not the only issue: some of the lines that the actors are given are terrible, mostly with puns but other times it's just lame gags and references that are dated. If it's not American Express card riffs, it's an Exorcist reference that already felt tired by then.

But, I must stress, there are high points here, and it's not just with the cast - Vaughan, Scrim and Ace Mask (yes, that's his name, don't wear it out) are all wonderful here and get what they need to do to make these characters work so that there's comedy to play off of from the other characters - but with the style. It's not totally consistent throughout, which is a shame, but I enjoyed in the early part as the director and his camera man and editor tried to do some interesting things, like a commercial spoof involving a morturary service, or the music video Teri Copley is doing that has a hundred commercials in one minute of time, or the Honeymooners parody that is shot *in* black and white (and includes and Ed Norton!), or a simple gag like the camera following in a scene with Dexter at the library and the cameraman gets distracted.

In other words, there are enough times where the writing clicks and the actors click and the director clicks that the self-knowing stuff actually works. I wish that it did work more, or that certain gags had a touch more cleverness to them - to give another idea of what I mean, because Scrim is in this there's a part where his character holds the glass ball from Phantasm, and it's used for a baseball bit - but there's enough winks and nods to keep most open-minded horror fans happy. The strangest (and funniest) thing of all is how Corman, whether it was his idea or Wynorski and company I don't know, spoofs himself in a way; there's constant cut-aways to stock footage from The Terror (or maybe one of the Poe movies, or both), and then, lo and behold, Boris Karloff makes an appearance(!) Yes, there is actually a scene where Steve Altman walks into a room and interacts with stock footage of Karloff from The Terror; I have to think Corman knew how silly this would be and went for it. It's admirable and, most importantly, it's funny, and unexpected.

To put it another way, "Arkham Library" is a joke here. Do with that information what you will.