Scream Queen Hot Tub Party

Scream Queen Hot Tub Party is about the most literal title that could be attached to this particular film; a shot-on-video film that plays more like a compilation of seventies and eighties b-movies narrated and discussed by the buxom actresses who starred in them, the film is a video diary that effectively praises all things horror and breast.

Starring five actresses famous for their work in scuzzy b-movies, Brinke Stevens, Monique Gabrielle, Kelli Maroney, Michelle Bauer, and Roxanne Kernohan all arrive at a home one day expecting to be a part of a seminar on how to properly create a horror film. When they enter the home, they realize the house is totally empty, but are troubled when they hear the house making eerie and unsettling noises. They order an Ouija board from a delivery service that delivers quicker than a contemporary Jimmy John's and also includes five skimpy nighties, which the girls embrace accordingly. The gaggle of queens proceed to enter a hot tub and reminisce on the conventions of the horror films they have acted in, as well as share their insights on working in the field of b-movies.

This involves Stevens showing us how a scream queen effectively showers, breaking down the conventions step-by-step in a steamy, arousing scene and the remainder of the girls giving us a taste at other attributes to the life of being a scream queen. In the opening of the film, the girls give us unwritten rules of the queen life, with one of the main rules being "no scenery unless they see 'greenery'" and the fact that scream queen girls are not allowed to think in any particular way. It's safe to say these women know their roles in their films, and the eye candy they provide is only elevated to the fact that they are an entertaining bunch to watch, energetic and unpredictable in the way they try to merit some kind of reaction out of the audience, be it a scare or an arousal.

Scream Queen Hot Tub Party's third act (in an affair that's only forty-six minutes long) mainly deals with clips from films of the scream queen era that effectively show what it means to be a queen in action. The clips are pleasant enough, but take away from the true appeal of the film, which is seeing five beauties sharing a hot tub and talking about their experiences on set and in film in general. The film would've benefited the most if it had kept the focus purely on the women at hand rather than serving as a greatest hits compilation for other, unseen queens like Linnea Quigley.

The film was directed by Fred Olen Ray and Jim Wynorski, who has made a long, prosperous career out of showing off the assets of beautiful women and surrounding them with ridiculous, b-movie elements. Scream Queen Hot Tub Party is a delightful ode to those principles, and at least profiles a collection of actresses who have long since go unnoticed and deserve their dues in some respect. At least one can say it's given by a man who knows what he's doing and is very familiar with the area.

Starring: Brinke Stevens, Monique Gabrielle, Kelli Maroney, Michelle Bauer, and Roxanne Kernohan. Directed by: Fred Olen Ray and Jim Wynorski.

Pretty much a last harrah for the golden age of Scream Queens, plot-wise the era ends on a whimper. However entertainment wise it ends with a bang. Showing a lot of clips to pad out the still skimpy 49 minute running time and name-dropping other films at the drop of a hat. This film still succeed at what the film's main purpose is: Showing nudity and loads of it. Yea, the jokes are beyond lame and grown worthy, yea the story sucks, and yes the clips DO wear thin quite a bit. But this is pretty much the last movie to find Scream Queens in all their '80's glory. I know it was technically made in the '90's, but trust me it's an 80's movie through and through. (the 80's movies started a bit earlier than the '80's with "the Warriors" by the way)

My Grade: C+

This film gave the academy a new direction. It is a visually splendid piece of cinema verite' and has the distinction of being the only documentary in the Eye Candy Hall of Fame. Directed by two unknowns (who oddly enough are names in the Western, "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly") who definitely were apt pupils of the auteurs Wynorski and Olen Ray. This film features three members of the All-Century team who deserve the royalty status: the ever-so-lovely Brinke Stevens, the majestic beauty Michelle Bauer, and the luscious Monique Gabrielle. Like all masterpieces, there is a minor flaw in the casting. We here at the academy wish that Roxanne Kernohan and Kelli Maroney could have been traded for Linnea Quigley. This would have made the All-Century team complete and could boast of having the Fab Four in the credits. Nonetheless, Queen Stevens is an oustanding lecturer who could read the phone book and make it sound erotic (preferably by reading in the nude). Queen Bauer is a delight and could put VIAGRA out of business. Queen Gabrielle, while not a horror legend, has an impressive body... of work and may be responsible for global warming by her performance. All five together in the hot tub bring to mind the making of a fine beer: rich in character, robust, and full-bodied. This is proof there is order in the universe.

As a die hard horror fan, and a Jim Wynorski fan in particular, I can honestly say I never thought I could be so happy. Scream Queen Hot Party was a magical journey of wonder and merriment...In other words, there were breasts and skimpy nighties galore. It's always a pleasure to see these ladies, and before seeing SQHTP I'd already seen pretty much every film each had made. I agree with another reviewer that Linnea Quigley should have been involved, she is after all, the all-time unquestioned reigning Scream Queen, but she DID get her own work-out video, also with breasts and nighties galore, and Scream Queen Hot Tub Party and Linnea Quigley's Horror Workout make quite the double feature.

Having seen Michelle, Brinke, and Monique nude so many times (it never gets old, though), I gotta say the biggest treat for me was Kelli Maroney. I saw Night of the Comet and Chopping Mall (both excellent films) and in Chopping Mall she was the cute, quiet girl, then in Night of the Comet she was the ditzy, take-no-prisoners cheerleader but not a hint of boobies from her in either film...Well, the wait's finally over and they were exquisite. She even wears her cheerleader outfit from Night of the Comet before her big scene. I like cute, quiet girls AND cheerleaders, so I was already a fan, but now I'm an even bigger fan...if you know what I mean...Wait, what was I talking about? Anyway, she's absolutely adorable, as always.

Roxeanne Kernohan was excellent too. The only film I'd seen with her was Not of This Earth, and she was quite funny (and lovely) in that as well, although it was a very small role. In this she plays the goof of the quintet, the butt of every joke. Huh-huh...butt...get it? Sorry...

Anyway, if you're a fan of cheesy comedy/horror films and especially if you're familiar with such films as Nightmare Sisters, Sorority Babes In The Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, Chopping Mall, Sorority House Massacre II, Hard to Die, Not of This Earth, etc., you'll love Scream Queen Hot Tub Party.

Cinema can be many things to many people. Some view film as a way to escape their mundane lives and live through the heroic characters displayed upon the big screen. Some search for a moment that will trigger an epiphany, answering a question that has beguiled them in real life. Some seek a feeling of triumph that can only be displayed when art takes motion and the underdog finally has their day. Some want proof that mankind can overcome, join as one, and view as a singular audience the joys of cinema without the modern day dividers that plague our current existence.

This celluloid miracle is made up of many things: Plot, cinematography, story, character, lighting, narrative, sound, editing and of course...an actor's portrayal of the subject.

In the year nineteen hundred and ninety one "Scream Queen Hot Tub Party" was unleashed. One would be foolish to attempt a full review of this venture which clocks in at just under one single hour.

What can be said, is that it overachieves in more ways than one. It is a triumph in it's simplicity. It can only be applauded and therefore described in a victorious, emphatic, neon and singular word. And that word is.....TITTIES!

Bravo, "Scream Queen Hot Tub Party", Bravo!