Chris Haywood credited as playing...
Ken Blundell
- Coach Ken Blundell: Mariel, you've probably seen the news about the civil war in South Africa. Well, just as the South Africans seem to be doing the right thing by the blacks, the police open fire on a black soccer club, and that is bad news for David.
- Muriel: [to David, who is clearly a white South African] Are you black?
- David: What?
- [Muriel is being offered a deal to marry David Van Arkle, a South African Olympic swimming contender, so he can gain Australian citizenship]
- David Van Arkle: What about the black-haired one?
- Coach Ken Blundell: No, she was Turkish. She'd only been in the country five minutes.
- [to Muriel]
- Coach Ken Blundell: Now, whoever marries David will have to tell the immigration authorities that they're in love with him. Now there'll be media attention so they'll have to live with David in his flat for at least four months after the marriage. I've worked out all the details of the romance which you and David will have to stick to. But the most important thing is to convince people that you two are really in love.
- David Van Arkle: What about the blonde?
- Coach Ken Blundell: You didn't like her.
- David Van Arkle: I'm not so sure now.
- Coach Ken Blundell: Let's be honest, the South Africans were never much chop in the pool anyway. David here is a bit of a freak, really.