Fred Ward credited as playing...
Rocco
- Tyrone: You just watch your step, McGurke. This place here changes a man.
- Frank Drebin: Yeah? In what way?
- Tyrone: I used to be white. I was the drummer for the Osmonds.
- Rocko Dillon: Screw around with me, and Tyrone here will make you feel pain that you'd never believe.
- Frank Drebin: Yeah, I remember the Osmonds.
- Rocco Dillon: [fires a gun over the heads of the audience] Freeze, and nobody gets hurt!
- [a grip falls from the rafters into the orchestra]
- Rocco Dillon: Well, from now on!
- [during prison riot]
- Rocco Dillon: I've been watching you McGurke. You handle yourself really good.
- Frank Drebin: Really well.
- Rocco Dillon: Whatever.
- Muriel Dillon: How's my little boy? Getting along OK, sweetie?
- Rocco Dillon: As well as a heterosexual can in prison. I don't know how much longer I can take it. How's Tanya?
- Muriel Dillon: Tanya's the same. Milky, creamy skin, pouting red lips, firm buttocks, ample breasts, ears you want to stick your tongue into.
- Rocco Dillon: Ma, please. I'm gonna get guy cramps if you keep this up.
- Rocco Dillon: Pull out the bomb, Drebin. If you don't, I'll shoot the dame.
- Frank Drebin: All right, Rocco. All right. I'll do what you say.
- Jane Spencer: Frank!
- Frank Drebin: Just don't harm her.
- Jane Spencer: Frank, if you pull out the bomb, you'll kill me anyway, and everyone else in this theater.
- Frank Drebin: Yeah. No dice, Rocco.
- Rocco Dillon: Then I'll plug her.
- Frank Drebin: You shoot her, and I'll empty this envelope.
- Jane Spencer: Frank, think about it.
- Frank Drebin: It's all right. You'll be dead.
- Jane Spencer: Then you'll kill yourself and everyone here.
- Frank Drebin: Yeah.
- Rocco Dillon: Then I'll shoot you, Drebin, if you don't do as I say.
- Frank Drebin: Jane?
- Jane Spencer: I'd be safe, so would everyone else, but you'd be dead.
- Frank Drebin: This is getting a little complicated, Rocco.
- Tanya Peters: Hey, who's the stud?
- Rocco Dillon: Oh, I'd like you to meet the newest member of our gang. Slasher McGurke, meet Tanya Peters.
- Tanya Peters: Wait a minute. Don't I know you from somewhere?
- Muriel Dillon: [putting her gun in his face] I smelled cop on him the minute I saw him.
- Frank Drebin: I get that all the time. The underwear ads, played everywhere.
- Muriel Dillon: Are you saying you're not a cop?
- Frank Drebin: Well... yeah!
- Rocco Dillon: Well, that's good enough for me.
- Tanya Peters: Me, too.
- Muriel Dillon: I'm fine.
- Frank Drebin: Let's look at this logically. You're the psychotic. You should have the envelope. I should have the gun.
- Jane Spencer: Frank!
- Frank Drebin: I know what I'm doing.
- [as he and Rocco trade, the cops, everyone in the control room, and the audience all facepalm]
- Rocco Dillon: All right! Here's your best picture! In front of the whole worldwide audience, this place is going up!
- Ed Hocken: Well, if I'm going out, I'm going out happy.
- [he grabs the woman next to him and kisses her]
- Frank Drebin: Wait a minute, Rocco. Before we're all blown to bits, mind if I pull the underwear out of my crack? A man's got to go comfortable.
- Rocco Dillon: All right. But that's it.
- Frank Drebin: [feigning bending over, he knocks the bomb out of Rocco's hand] All right, give it up, Rocco. You're history.
- Rocco Dillon: [pointing behind him] Look, George Hamilton!
- [as Frank turns to look, Rocco takes the gun away]
- Frank Drebin: [seeing Tanya in just a one-piece bathing suit] That bathing suit was never happier. I had only a second to admire the view. I had to watch out; if she made me as a cop, I'd be tonight's meat loaf.
- Tanya Peters: Come here, sexy.
- Frank Drebin: You're all woman. I could tell just by looking at you.
- Rocco Dillon: Hey! She's referring to me.
- Frank Drebin: [covering] Uh... I was talking about your mother.
- Rocco Dillon: [listening to Frank and Jane bicker] Jeez, you two, knock it off! You'd think you were married or something.
- Rocco Dillon: [leading Frank to his secluded cabin] Well, what do you think, kid?
- Frank Drebin: It's a great setup.
- Rocco Dillon: No phone, miles from the nearest town, Playboy channel, perfect.
- Frank Drebin: High stakes, but I'm here for the action. What are we going after, a bank, armored car, Dodgers' payroll?
- Muriel Dillon: [putting a gun in his face] You're getting a little bit too nosy, McGurke.
- Rocco Dillon: Relax, Ma. She's been itching to try out her new gun.
- Frank Drebin: I know the feeling.