David Spade credited as playing...
Rand McPherson
- Rand: I scheme and plan for MONTHS and it gets screwed up because YOU can't control the students! NEVER send a woman to do a man's job!
- President Garcia-Thompson: You cocky, pointy-nosed little Reaganite! If you hadn't provoked them, we wouldn't BE in this mess!
- Rand: Whoa! Reality check here! Earth to TALL BITCH! What is your fault? THIS IS!
- [turns on Droz]
- Rand: Hey, poor boy! Go and have all your parties with all your new friends! I can see it now, Andrews. You and all the knee-jerk, bleeding-heart liberals, sipping tea and playing patty-cake. And those useless hippie pot-heads, those commie-pinko leftists. The bunny huggers, the pillow biters...
- Droz: Whoa! Whoa! Which ones are the pillow biters again?
- Rand: The BUTT-PIRATES! And those beastly man-haters, tell those chicks to shave their pits then call me! And those goddamn whiny crybaby minorities, you can keep them all!
- [Rand realizes that Droz had a microphone close by and that the sign lady has been signing everything he said]
- Droz: [to the students] Rand McPherson, everybody. And don't forget the 9:30 show is completely different than the 7:30 show. Enjoy the veal!
- [the students then go after Rand]
- Bantam: America's greatest president.
- Rand: It's me, Rand. Open up.
- Bantam: America's greatest president.
- Rand: Damn it. "Who is Ronald Reagan?"
- Bantam: A casual shoe for yachting.
- Rand: What are you trying to figure out, B.D.? Who could I be? "What is a blucher?"
- Bantam: They killed Jesus Christ.
- Rand: "Who are the Jews?" Open up, sucko.