Michael Keaton credited as playing...
Henry Hackett
- Henry: I realize this doesn't exactly get us off on the right foot.
- Paul Bladden, New York Sentinel: The right foot, are you out of your mind? The offer is rescinded. How stupid do you think we are? What do you think I get when I put two and two together? Three? Three and a half?
- Henry: Look, I'm trying to be reasonable here, and just let me...
- Paul Bladden, New York Sentinel: Why don't you just take my wallet as well?
- Henry: Let me talk. Let me say something, wait a m...
- Paul Bladden, New York Sentinel: Well, I hope you're satisfied, asshole! You just blew your chance to cover the world!
- Henry: Really? Well guess fucking what? I don't really fucking care. You wanna know fucking why? Because I don't fucking live in the fucking world! I live in fucking New York City! So go fuck yourself!
- [Henry slams down telephone back on the receiver]
- Janet, Henry's Secretary: You handled that well.
- Henry: Thank you.
- Henry: What's the matter with Phil? It looks like he sat on something sharp.
- Janet, Henry's Secretary: Well, you told him he could have Richard's old desk, right?
- Henry: Right.
- Janet, Henry's Secretary: And now you promised it to Carmen. Are you completely psychotic?
- Henry: I have episodes. Nothing serious.
- Janet, Henry's Secretary: Phil is still pissed you wouldn't approve his $600 orthopaedic chair. And now with this desk thing, he's convinced it's a conspiracy to prevent him from sitting down.
- Henry: What do you think I'm trying to do?. Look, I got news for you. I'm not locked up in the men's room with a cop because it's a good time. Frankly, I've had better times, okay? I'm here because I think the story is wrong. Is it? Is it? If you have something, give it to me now, but don't stand there and act coy and say "Fuck you", because, quite frankly, it's a waste of all of our time. And you know what? I don't have any more time. I have no more fucking time. I need it fucking today, I need it right now!
- Henry: I'm stopping it.
- Michael McDougal: What?
- Henry: We stop and replate. Go upstairs and write up what you've got. Tell Lou to send down "They Didn't Do It".
- Michael McDougal: Hey Henry, are you going to say it? You gotta say it.
- Henry: Use the same art they used for "Gotcha!".
- Michael McDougal: Come on, how often do you get the chance? You can't just do it and not say it, come on!
- Henry: I - Stop the presses!
- Henry: What if these aren't the guys? What if they're innocent?
- Alicia: Taint them today, we make them look good on Saturday. Everybody's happy.
- Henry: Wait. This is a story that could permanently alter the public's perception of two teenagers who might be innocent and as a weekend bonus, ignite another race war. How about that? Think about this.
- Henry: For God's sakes, Alicia. We're not gonna ask some news reporter to wait until after 5:00 to make out-of-state phone calls. It's ridiculous. I'm not gonna do it.
- Alicia: Okay, let's let them make free phone sex calls too.
- Henry: You mean as a kind of bonus? That's not a bad idea. Why don't you start with Phil?
- Henry: I can't stay. I have to put the paper to bed. But what do you say we all get together later and go have some dessert at that... place.
- Bernie: I hate columnists! Why do I have all these columnists? I got political columnists, guest columnists... celebrity columnists - The only thing I don't have is a dead columnist. That's the kind I could really use.
- Henry: Right. Listen...
- Bernie: We reek of opinions. What every columnist at this paper needs to do is to shut the fuck up.
- Alicia: Oh please, Henry. You don't care whether they get beaten up or not, that's not what this is all about. We got our ass kicked yesterday, so you want to beat everyone else today, that's all.
- Henry: Yeah I do. You don't? You don't?
- Alicia: C'mon, give me a break.
- Henry: Tell me you don't. You do. Fuck it! Let's not beat anybody today, let's not beat anybody all week. Bernie, what do you say? Let's not beat anybody til October, the whole year? Fuck it, Let's never beat anybody to the rest of our lives.