Macaulay Culkin credited as playing...
Richard 'Richie' Rich, Jr.
- [Cadbury has just made a break from jail, and is reunited with Richie]
- Richie Rich: Cadbury?
- Herbert Cadbury: Richie! Oh, thank God, I've been worried sick...!
- [they hug each other]
- Herbert Cadbury: I do beg your pardon, sir. All that emotion. Quite out of order. Got caught up in the moment.
- Richie Rich: Cadbury?
- Herbert Cadbury: Yes, sir?
- Richie Rich: Shut up!
- Herbert Cadbury: Thank you, sir.
- Pee-Wee: Hey, man, just checking out your crib here.
- Richie Rich: My crib?
- Herbert Cadbury: I believe that's street slang for home, sir, an idiom.
- Omar: Who you callin' an idiom?
- Gloria: [Richie is hiding out at Gloria's apartment] I like this "street" look on you, Richie. If I didn't know better, I'd swear you were almost normal.
- Richie Rich: Thanks, I think.
- Gloria: No, seriously. I used to think you were just some spoiled rich kid. But now, you're not so bad.
- Richie Rich: Yeah, likewise.
- Professor Keenbean: [spraying his latest invention on a test dummy] Now, THIS makes any fabric instantly impervious. Dirt proof, stain proof, water proof, and...
- [calls out assistant with a Tommy-gun]
- Professor Keenbean: Sherman!
- [Sherman nods, as they go behind the glass wall behind, Sherman empties an entire 50-round drum-magazine at the dummy, who remains unharmed. As they re-enter, Keenbean picks out a bullet that is still hot]
- Professor Keenbean: Ouch! And bullet proof! It's still not perfected yet! It's hell on the dry-cleaning bill.
- Richie Rich: No kidding.
- Professor Keenbean: Good grouping, Sherman!
- [Richie and his private-schoolmates are on break from their fencing class]
- Reynolds: Capital appreciation is all well and good, but not without a sound growth strategy.
- Ellsworth: Well, I've only got one word to say to you: pork bellies.
- Richie Rich: ...I'm wondering if you guys can come over this weekend and hang out with me. Like normal kids do.
- Reynolds: *Normal* kids? You're really acting weird, Richie. Anyway, no can do. I promised my dad I'd go with him for a hostile takeover in Tokyo.
- Richie Rich: Et tu, Ellsworth?
- Ellsworth: [shrugs] Trustees' meeting. Sorry.
- [Richie wants to play baseball with Gloria's sandlot-team]
- Richie Rich: Come on. Let me hit.
- Gloria: Forget it; you probably couldn't even hit a BEACH BALL!
- Richie Rich: I could hit it off of YOU.
- Gloria: [insulted] All right - You think you're so hot? Put your money where your mouth is!
- Richie Rich: You mean bet?
- Tony: Yeah. $5 says she could put you away for keeps.
- Gloria: $5? How about $10?
- Richie Rich: Okay - Seems a little steep, but $10 thousand it is.
- [He whips it out, and they all freak out]
- Gloria: No, not $10 thousand. Ten **dollars**.
- Richie Rich: Oh, $10. Okay.
- Herbert Cadbury: Master Richie, I do think it unseemly in the extreme for you to take these - children's money.
- Gloria: What are you doing, Mr. Fancy Pants? Asking the old guy for batting tips?
- Herbert Cadbury: [insulted] Take their backsides to the cleaners, Master Richie.
- Herbert Cadbury: ...Sir, your Latin tutorial has been moved back an hour; that gives you time for a spot of polo. Then on to your tax-law seminar. Oh, and this coming weekend, big treat: You and your parents are flying to London to take tea with Her Majesty... Is something amiss, sir?
- Richie Rich: [unhappy] First, my friends are too busy to hang out with me... And now, *I'M* too busy to hang out with me.
- Herbert Cadbury: [Richie prepares to introduce himself to Gloria and her sandlot-baseball team] You can't play with THESE children. I must protest!
- Richie Rich: Cadbury, CHILL. I'll be fine.
- Herbert Cadbury: But they probably haven't even been VACCINATED!
- Herbert Cadbury: Come along sir, you mustn't keep your personal trainer waiting.
- Richie Rich: [getting out of bed] Tell Arnold I really don't feel like excercising today.
- [Cadbury clears his throat, and in walks in Claudia Schiffer. Richie's mouth drops open]
- Aerobics Instructor: I hope you don't mind, but Arnold cancelled. So I'll be filling in. My name is Claudia.
- Richie Rich: Yikes!
- [Wiggles his eyebrows. They start doing some basic excercises, and Richie and Cadbury are watching her]
- Richie Rich: Cadbury, about Arnold...
- Herbert Cadbury: Arnold's history, sir.
- Aerobics Instructor: [She bends over, and the two men are mesmorized] All the way back down, stretch and back up.
- Richie Rich: [looking up somewhat uncertainly at the enormous tall Rich Industries office building towering up in front of him] I'm not sure if I can go through with this, Cadbury.
- Herbert Cadbury: Just remember these words, Master Richie - - "You have the power of your father inside you."
- Richie Rich: You mean, like, "Trust the force, Luke"?
- Herbert Cadbury: [maintaining his debonair composure even though he is a bit dismayed to have his elegantly-worded example "degraded" by having it merely compared to a quote in a science fiction movie] "Pree-cisely, sir!"
- Richard Rich Sr.: [They are preparing to depart for England] Perk up, son. It won't be long before you're having tea and crumpets with the queen!
- Richie Rich: I'd much rather eat a hot dog at Wrigley Field.
- Richard Rich Sr.: [chuckles] So would I, son. So would I.
- [he finds a lonely Richie surveying their backyard from the balcony]
- Herbert Cadbury: Excuse me, Master Richie. Sensing you were at a loose end, I've arranged for a little entertainment.
- Richie Rich: I'm really not in the mood for the Vienna Boys' Choir today, Cadbury. Thanks anyhow.
- Herbert Cadbury: Sadly, the choir was unbelievable, sir. But I did make **other arrangements**.
- Richie Rich: [watching Cadbury open the front door, and then staring in dumbfounded delight to see the sandlot-kids whom he'd earlier wanted to play with come spilling out of a station wagon] Wow ---! Thanks, Cadbury --- I owe you one!
- Richie Rich: [to Gloria and her fellow sandlotters] If any one of you guys wanna turn back, now's the time.
- Gloria: No way. Would you turn back if you were us? We're with you, Richie.
- Herbert Cadbury: [sniffs] Good grief! Manure?
- Omar: Hey, it's all we could find!
- Herbert Cadbury: Very well. Load.
- Richie Rich: [into walkie-talkie] I'm in position. You guys almost ready?
- Herbert Cadbury: [sniffs, into walkie-talkie] Eminently.
- Nash: [into walkie-talkie, with mouth full] This is Nash.
- Zullo: Nash, I didn't hear that. Come back with that.
- Nash: This is Nash.
- Richie Rich: [into walkie talkie] Fire two!
- [Cadbury launches a second sack of manure]
- Nash: [mouth full] Somebody throwing SHIII-!
- [the sack knocks him out]
- Richie Rich: YES!
- Richie Rich: [seeing his gentle dignified friend clad in the would-be hitman's hideous punk-biker's costume of glossy black fabric imprinted with hundreds of tiny white human skulls] You know, Cadbury, that get-up really doesn't go with your personality.
- Herbert Cadbury: Yeah, I know. I was lucky to be able to hold onto my own underwear.
- Diane Pazinski: [seeing Cadbury disguised as the hoodlum] Whoa, look who's slummin'!
- [In the boardroom, Van Dough checks his watch and looks towards the door as everyone applauds Richie]
- Richie Rich: And when my father gets back, I'm sure he'll be really happy to see what we've done while he was gone. The profits from every division have gone up on a record-breaking rise.
- [everyone applauds but stop as the detective and several policemen storm in]
- Ferguson: It doesn't give you the right--!
- Detective: I'm sorry, but this is official police business! Herbert Cadbury!
- Herbert Cadbury: [steps forward] Yes?
- Detective: You're under arrest.
- Herbert Cadbury: I beg your pardon?
- Richie Rich: What is this?
- [the police handcuff Cadbury]
- Van Dough: [stands up] Officers, you can't just burst in here. What is the meaning of this?
- Detective: We received an anonymous tip and searched the Rich Mansion. Bomb parts, detonation devices, found in Herbert Cadbury's room.
- Herbert Cadbury: That's perposterous.
- Detective: You're under arrest for the murder of Richard and Regina Rich.
- Herbert Cadbury: I don't know what you're talking about.
- [Cadbury is taken away]
- Richie Rich: Wait! Cadbury!
- Herbert Cadbury: [looks back] Don't worry, Master Richie, I'm sure it's a mistake.
- [Ferguson grabs Richie]
- Richie Rich: Cadbury! Cadbury!
- Ferguson: Richie, the police have him now. Best stay here.
- [Richie watches sadly as Cadbury is taken away]
- Richie Rich: How come all we do is talk about money? Why don't we do something fun.
- Ellsworth: [frowning in clueless perplexion, since he's never experienced anything besides a "caviar and kippers" lifestyle] Money IS fun!
- Professor Keenbean: [introducing his latest invention] This baby is the ultimate corrosive. I call it - DON'T TOUCH IT! - I call it "hydrochloricdioxynucleocarbonium". Well, the name needs work. But it'll eat through a Buick! OR -...
- Richie Rich: Prison bars.
- Professor Keenbean: Exactly.
- Richie Rich: [on Rich Industries' venture into the candy bar-business] We simply cannot let our competition be nuttier than we are.