The Road Killers

STAR RATING:*****Unmissable****Very Good***Okay**You Could Go Out For A Meal Instead*Avoid At All Costs

It's a shame,'cos another collaboration between Christopher Lambert and director Deran Sarafian by the name of Gunmen was one I found to be very enjoyable.I've heard one or two people criticize Chris's acting ability.This is unjustified.He's okay,it's just,like all actors,he picks bad scripts sometimes.This being one of them.

In fact,the majority (if not all) of the film's faults can be found in the script,because it's so badly written,not least because we find it so hard to offer any empathy to Christopher McDonald's duh-duh father character,who's such a caring dad he lets his son wonder out into the road unsupervised in the first place,never mind the 'bad guys' who,though kind of going a little too fast,were on an open road with not much traffic visibly in front of them.Just to stare at a bloody flower as well!You're gonna be seeing a lot more of them in your life kid,believe me.And what was with that girl bad guy,wondering around with an umbrella like she was in a Legal & General advert or something?

One to disappear without a trace into the confines of DTV hell,me thinks.*

This one reminds me of the outer limits ultra-DIY stuff that Miramax was experimenting with in the '80s before they went "legit" with "respectable" art-house fare around 1989.

"The Road Killers" is from a few years after that but you can still see the yearning to be on the cool, cutting edge of the alternafence. It's also extremely interesting (at first, at least) because you get to see sneak peeks at very young versions of some of today's biggest actors (Josh Brolin, David Arquette, Chris MacDonald, a 7 or 8-year old Joseph Gordon-Levitt).

This film doesn't take itself seriously in the least, and that could very well have been intentional as it seems to deliberately ape the sadistic-teen-hoods-go-on-a-rampage genre ala "Hot Rods to Hell." The lead thug, Craig Sheffer (never a very good actor, unfortunately, and a very ham-fisted villain in many flicks) does and says all the hateful things at all the right times, but can't get beyond his ridiculous Motley Crue wig (I really hope it is a wig, for his sake). Brolin and Arquette have scant little to do, and the "good guys," with the exception of MacDonald, never get us very revved up to root for them in the first place.

The script is a complete disaster with long, intermittent stretches where there is no action whatsoever, and the characters are too shallow and boring to expound upon. This is supposed to be an action picture, but it ends up as more of an overlong parody of one.

A huge, wasted opportunity, as nobody had the guts to make deliberately different mainstream films back in the day, except Miramax. Now, they wouldn't touch this kind of stuff with a ten foot pole, unless it was to be helmed by Rodrigeuz or Tarantino.

After a young boy is almost run over by a maniac on a highway, a re-encounter and confrontation by the boy's father with the driver sets off conflicts with a car full of maniacs.

Okay, so the opening credits are just a tad too long. And the Netflix version is full screen, despite the fact it is known the film was shot in widescreen (like most films). But let us look past these nitpicks.

What we get is a fun film with a solid cast: Christopher Lambert, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, David Arquette, Josh Brolin, Christopher McDonald. Some (like Arquette) part of the 90s zeitgeist, and some (like Brolin and Gordon-Levitt) who had yet to fully bloom. In retrospect, from 2015, this not only exemplifies the sort of videos that were fun to rent in the 90s, but provides a nice glimpse of some talented folks early in their careers.

Yes, you read the title right. As a massive Terminator fan, I wanted to check this out as it was scripted by Tedi Safarian, who is the man (or one of them) behind the script for T3. This movie is so bad it has dented all of my expectations for the new Terminator movie as the story lacks a complete sense of direction.

Basically, we are introduced to two families driving through the desert. A bunch of psychos follow them and drive past them at breakneck speeds, shortly before taking them hostage. Why? Sure they are crazy but it still doesn't make any sense at all!

The entire film has the atmosphere of those god awful tv movies (take Motorcycle Gang for example) and despite a relatively well-known cast, fails to deliver on every level. In the end you find yourself rooting for the bad guys as Christopher Lambert's acting is just terrible, not to mention the look on his face.

However, credit is due where credit is due. The lead 'Road Killer' Cliff is played with genuine menace by Craig Sheffer as is David Arquettes character of Bobby.

Good characters still ain't enough though to salvage this mess of a film and to be perfectly honest, you are better spending 100 minutes of your life cutting grass with a pair of scissors.

All in all, The Road Killers (or Roadflower as it is known in the UK) wins itself a meagre 3 out of 10.

Every now and again when I am drunk I stumble upon this film again. It is pretty fun. I like it. It is not great by any means but it is fun. A good Saturday afternoon movie.