Matthew Broderick credited as playing...
William Lightbody
- William Lightbody: Oh, no, no, I can't eat fifteen gallons of yoghurt.
- Dr. John Harvey Kellogg: Oh, it's not going in that end, Mr. Lightbody.
- William Lightbody: You were masturbating!
- Dr. Lionel Badger: I was not! I was massaging my colon!
- William Lightbody: Massaging your colon! I know where the colon is and it doesn't stick up in the air!
- Waiter: What would you like for dinner?
- William Lightbody: Toast.
- Waiter: And how would you like that, sir?
- William Lightbody: Toasted.
- William Lightbody: They're dead! They've been electrocuted!
- Endymion Hart-Jones: Rather a severe cure for flatulence, I do admit.