Joe Pesci credited as playing...
Simon
- Simon Wilder: You asked the question, sir, let me answer it. The genius of the Constitution is that it can always be changed. The genius of the Constitution is that it makes no permanent rule other than it's faith in the wisdom of ordinary people to govern themselves.
- Proffesor Pitkannan: Faith in the wisdom of the people is exactly what makes the Constitution incomplete and crude.
- Simon Wilder: Crude? No, sir. Our "founding parents" were pompous, middle-aged, white farmers, but they were also great men. Because they knew one thing that all great men should know: that they didn't know everything. They knew they were gonna make mistakes, but they made sure to leave a way to correct them. They didn't think of themselves as leaders. They wanted a government of citizens, not royalty. A government of listeners, not lecturers. A government that could change, not stand still. The president isn't an "elected king," no matter how many bombs he can drop. Because the "crude" Constitution doesn't trust him. He's a servant of the people. He's a bum, okay Mr. Pitkannan? He's just a bum. And the only bliss that he's searching for is freedom and justice.
- Simon Wilder: Which door do I leave from?
- Proffesor Pitkannan: At Harvard we don't end our sentences with prepositions.
- Simon Wilder: Okay. Which door do I leave from, asshole?
- Simon Wilder: Women. Ain't they perfect?
- Monty: Not always.
- Simon Wilder: Yes, they are, they're perfect. Don't matter if they're skinny, fat, blond or blue. If a woman is willing to give you her love, Harvard, it's the greatest gift in the world. Makes you taller, makes you smarter, makes your teeth shine. Boy, oh, boy, women are perfect.
- Social Security Clerk: I'm going to ask again, do you have evidence of birth?
- Simon Wilder: I'm sittin' here ain't I lady? What do you think, I happened by spontaneous combustion?
- Simon Wilder: [quoting Walt Whitman] "To drive free, to love free, to court destruction with taunts, to feed the remainder of life with one hour of fullness and freedom - one brief hour of madness and joy."
- Marty: Would you like to dance?
- Monty: [to Simon] Maybe you shouldn't...
- Simon Wilder: Let's not go overboard with this "staying alive" junk.
- Simon Wilder: You asked a question sir, let me answer it! The genius of the Constitution is that it can always be changed. The genius of the Constitution is that it makes no permanent rule other than its faith in the wisdom of ordinary people to govern themselves.
- Proffesor Pitkannan: Faith in the wisdom of the people is exactly what makes the Constitution incomplete and crude!
- Simon Wilder: Crude? No, sir. Our "founding parents" were pompous, middle-aged white farmers, but they were also great men. Because they knew one thing that all great men should know: that they didn't know everything. They knew they were gonna make mistakes, but they made sure to leave a way to correct them. They didn't think of themselves as leaders. They wanted a government of citizens not royalty. A government of listeners not lecturers. A government that could change, not stand still. The president isn't an "elected king," no matter how many bombs he can drop. Because the "crude" Constitution doesn't trust him. He's a servant of the people. He's a bum, okay Mr. Pitkannan? He's just a bum. And the only bliss he is searching for is freedom and justice.
- Simon Wilder: [quoting Walt Whitman, "Song of Myself"] "You shall no longer take things at second or third hand, not look through the eyes of the dead, nor feed on the spectres in books. You shall not look through my eyes either, nor take things from me, you shall listen to all sides and filter them from yourself."
- Simon Wilder: Is this a lover's quarrel? Maybe I should leave.
- Courtney: We're not lovers, we're roommates and we respect each others' space.
- Simon Wilder: You respect each others' empty air? That's very profound for a couple of Harvard students.
- Monty: Why did you say that I was a loser?
- Simon Wilder: Winners forget they're in a race, they just love to run. You try too hard.
- Simon Wilder: When it comes to relationships, everyone's a used car salesman. L
- Monty: Is that your philosophy? Don't trust anyone.
- Simon Wilder: No, you've got to trust people. But you can't believe in the warranty.
- [Jeffrey walks in on Simon using the toilet]
- Jeffrey: Holy Shit!
- Simon Wilder: You think so? Looks like the regular garden variety to me.
- Simon Wilder: Hey, you know what the greatest nation in the world is?
- Donation Student: Well I hope it's the USA.
- Simon Wilder: Wrong. It's donation.
- Simon Wilder: How many bottles of that wine would you be willing to give me to fix it?
- Everett: To get this thing running? Six.
- Simon Wilder: Eight.
- Everett: Seven.
- Simon Wilder: Eight.
- Everett: Okay, nine, but that's my final offer.
- Simon Wilder: Didn't you used to run a saving and loan?