Gary Cole credited as playing...
Mike Brady
- Mike Brady: Jan, a real friend likes you for who you are, not what's on your face. If you judge your friends for passing judgment on you, you're not only judging yourself you're judging your friends for judging you. And that would be using bad judgment.
- Carol Brady: Marcia it looks like rain, you better take your shawl. How about you Doug? Do you have any protection?
- Doug: Oh, yes ma'am. Assorted colors and textures!
- Carol Brady: Good for you!
- Mike Brady: Have fun, kids.
- Mike Brady: Cindy, you know by tattling on your friends, you're really just tattling on yourself. By tattling on your friends, you're just telling them that you're a tattletale. Now is that the tale you want to tell?
- Mike Brady: Our house is more important than money. This neighborhood is more important than money. Tell me. How many times have we borrowed each other's power tools or patched up each other's kids? We know so much about each other. I know that every January, Mr. Yeager is going to have that big Super Bowl party at his house. We know that every spring, Mrs. Simmons is going to have the prettiest daffodils on the block. We know that at 10:15 every Saturday morning, Mrs. Topping likes to walk through her living room naked. Call me old-fashioned, but these things are important, and they're not for sale. This is our neighborhood, and we're staying.
- Mr. Phillips: How should I put this delicately, Mike? Your designs are from another time.
- Mike Brady: That's kind of you to say, Mr. Phillips. I've always thought of my style as classic as well.