Michael McGlone credited as playing...
Patrick McMullen
- Patrick McMullen: What am I going to do with my life? You know I didn't think college was actually going to end.
- Patrick: [to Jack and Molly about Susan] She wants me back.
- Jack McMullen: What about the baby?
- Patrick: She had a miscarriage.
- Jack McMullen: [relieved] Jesus, talk about the luck of the Irish.
- Molly McMullen: [shocked] Jack!
- Patrick: Oh, so you believe in God know? This is... this is your story?
- Barry McMullen: Well, yeah. Yeah, on his good days.
- Barry McMullen: The man was the president of the United States. He's under a lot of pressure. I think he was entitled. Besides, he's screwin' around with Marilyn Monroe. I think it's a sign of a truly great individual who knows how to seize an opportunity like that.
- Molly McMullen: [in disbelief] You are demented, Barry
- Patrick: This is thinking. This is a thought process.
- Barry McMullen: I went down to the grave this morning.
- Jack McMullen: And?
- Barry McMullen: And... I'm happy to report that, uh, he's still dead.
- Patrick: This is... this is funny stuff, Barry. Take it on the road, pal.
- Barry McMullen: What are you doin'?
- Patrick: [in the kitchen, gazing out of the window] Nothing.
- Patrick: Let me ask you something, Barry.
- [holding a dirty plate]
- Patrick: What do I do now? Hm?
- Barry McMullen: What are you, retarded? You wipe it off, and then you put it in the dishwasher. OK, genius?
- Patrick: No. No, not the... I mean with my life.
- Jack McMullen: [reminiscing about their father] Remember some of that stuff he'd say when he was half in the bag?
- Barry McMullen: [mimicking his father] You shut your mouth when you're talking to me!
- Patrick McMullen: The only thing I wanna hear out of you is nothing!
- Jack McMullen: And when I asked Dad how he liked my new red varsity jacket? He said 'You should get another one in blue and burn the both of em'.
- Jack McMullen: Jesus! How about a mercy flush...?
- Patrick McMullen: Hey, I'm going to the bathroom here. Whatdja expect it to smell like...?
- Jack McMullen: Yeah? Well, you ought to be going to a doctor. Either that or I'll get Molly to change butchers.
- Barry McMullen: [Barry and Pat are discussing Pat's relationship with Susan] Pat, are you ready to spend the rest of your life having sex with this one woman? I mean, she'll be the last woman that you get to see completely naked and be allowed to touch.
- [beat]
- Barry McMullen: That's something to think about.
- Patrick McMullen: [sighs] I don't know.
- [lights a cigarette]
- Patrick McMullen: I thought I'd know when it was time to get married. I'd envisioned meeting somebody somewhere, and I thought it was Susan. But then it fades, you know? It just turns out to be just my imagination. What I'm talking about is real. I mean, two people mapping out an eternity in a moment. And we'd sit and have intimate conversation in some dimly lit room, and we'd feel there was nowhere else in the world we'd want to be.
- Barry McMullen: Jesus Christ, Patrick. I mean, that is very romantic, but there is no fucking chance in Hell that's going to happen.
- Susan: Patrick, our relationship has run its course. I think we're better off going out and finding new people, new experiences, ideas.
- Patrick: Hey, hey... I don't need any new ideas, all right? I'm confused enough already!
- [beat]
- Patrick: But what about us? We were going to get married.
- Susan: Come on, Patrick. That was just talk, right? We were just kids. Besides, would you ever be willing to become Jewish? Huh?
- Patrick: [incredulously] Become a *Jew*?
- Susan: Yes!
- Patrick: Convert? Why should *I* convert? I'm a practicing Catholic, for God's sakes! I go to church once a week! You go to temple, what, once a year? My religion plays a bigger part in my life than yours does in yours. If anyone should convert, it should be you!
- Susan: *Your* religion is crazy!