Steven Mackintosh credited as playing...
Josh Tambini
- J.C.: Just remember I live here, all right?
- Josh Tambini: What, you think we're gonna embarrass you?
- J.C.: No. Just don't ask for any Beach Boys records and don't try using any surf-speak.
- Josh Tambini: What do you and Sarah have in common?
- Terry Colcott: We watch TV.
- Josh Tambini: Yeah, apart from watching TV?
- Terry Colcott: Watch videos.
- Terry Colcott: Your marriage didn't work out.
- Josh Tambini: Exactly. Just because men and women's genitalia happen to fit together, we think we're supposed to spend the rest of our lives together.
- Terry Colcott: I know what I want to do.
- J.C.: You name it, Ter. Anything, man.
- Terry Colcott: I want the biggest Cornish cream tea you've ever seen.
- Josh Tambini: Livin' on the edge, Terry.
- Josh Tambini: "Lonely for You, Baby". Sam Dees, 1968. Eh, the label - SSS international? All right?
- Junior: Does this look like a "Mastermind" audition?
- Josh Tambini: What else you got here? Hey, "Time Will Pass You By". You know, we used to close the Casino with this.
- Junior: Uh-uh. They used to close Wigan with "I'm on my Way".
- Josh Tambini: Listen, I was there when you were still wettin' nappies. And it finished, "Time Will Pass You By", "I'm on my Way", and "Long After Tonight is Over". Every week, in that order.
- Dean Raymond: Relax, will you? I know what I'm doing. I'm a professional.
- Josh Tambini: Dean, lawyers are professionals. Doctors are professionals. Drug dealers are not professionals.
- Dean Raymond: We come all the way down here and you're more worried about chasing after some bird.
- J.C.: Chloe is not a "bird".
- Josh Tambini: Dean, we're surfers. The word is "babe".
- Dean Raymond: Oh, yeah, sorry, "babe".
- Josh Tambini: Three top ten hits is no big deal. I can hardly remember their names. "Techno Holiday", "Techno Toyland"...
- Junior: And, "Techno Techno Techno"?
- Josh Tambini: Yeah.
- Junior: Don't you know? It's not about money, or clothes, or guest lists.
- Josh Tambini: I know. I know.
- Junior: Do you?
- Josh Tambini: You told the papers about me and those twins.
- Dean Raymond: Well, I didn't make you shag them!